Hassle Free Returns
by hpfanfreak06
Summary: Rachel Berry lost her dreams along time ago. But when a new employee appears at her retail job, she realizes those dreams may just be misplaced. AU.
1. Chapter 1

Note: This started out as a novel based on my experience in retail, but I decided to turn it into a fanfic instead. I plan on actually finishing this, as long as others like it. Let me know your thoughts!

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.

Prologue

When I met him I thought this was it. All my patience had paid off. Here he was, right in front of me, brown eyes searing me with a pleasant burning in my chest. I wanted to hold his hand, anything that would prove he was as real as my heart made him out to be. My entire being wanted him so badly and now here he was months later, standing here telling me what I'd waited 23 years to hear. I could sense his impatience, in the corners of his mouth and the way he bounced on his heels. Everything seemed to hinge on this one answer, change was going to happen and I wasn't sure if I could handle it. Rhythmic sounds of our breathing synched with the thumping of our heartbeats. He opened his mouth to speak. This was it.

Chapter 1

I was calm. Or, really trying to remember what that feeling was like.

"Mam, this coupon expired last year, unfortunately given the date, we cannot honor it. Now if you would like too, we are giving 20% to those who apply for our Kaine's Card."

My last twenty minutes had been spent trying not to kill the lady in front of me, let's call her "Edna". Now, Edna wanted to use a 50% off coupon that had expired in December of 2011. This is after she had returned about thirty items from a receipt that dated to April of 1999. Fortunately for her, our store system can find items within the last fifteen years, so Edna got her $241.34 back. By this point my assisting her in what I believe to be numerous crimes, resulted in a sharp decline in my patience. Edna had now decided that I was going to be the privileged soul who would help her purchase three carts worth of items. The woman was short, but in such a way that in her prime, she must have been tall. Gray hair stuck out from underneath her Winnie the Pooh bandanna, as if trying to escape from the horrors of this woman's scalp. Thick rimmed, lined bifocals (which had, surprise, little Mickey Mouse heads, one on each side) covered her face. They clearly had some sort of magnifying effect, as her eyes seemed to bug out, giving me the assumption that Edna was clearly crazy.

"So you're telling me that even though I have this coupon right here in my hand, I can't use it?" Edna seemed baffled that I would even suggest that her coupon was unusable. "Unfortunately no, we can only allow the use of coupons that have expired in the last month." The lines of her jaw were set, I knew what was coming. "Is there a manager I could talk too? This is ridiculous."

Customers loved to use the manager line when they could not get what they wanted. Many others will fall for this. Unfortunately for them, I am not a sucker. "I promise he will tell you exactly what I just told you. The coupon you have is almost a year old, so as I previously said, I cannot honor it." Said coupon was still lying on the counter, the somehow still stark white "50%" glaring up at me, and just like Edna, it too wanted me to cave under pressure. While my job required me to always provide excellent customer service there were time like this in my years at Kaine's where I learned that it's necessary to tell the customer no. But never in such a way that the customer refuses to set foot in your establishment; just enough of a "no" that they get the message. And as both Edna and the expired coupon continued to fight me, I came to the perfect solution.

"Mam, let me call my supervisor and what we can do for you." She gave me that look that said, "I win." Walking over to the phone I proceeded to pretend to make a call. I hit a couple numbers for effect, Edna wouldn't need to know. " Hello, yes, this is Rachel, I have a customer here who has an expired coupon. No, it's from last year. Okay, I'll let her know, thank you." Edna still held the same accomplished glint when I again stood in front of her. "My supervisor cannot honor your coupon, but he will allow me to give you 15% off." She seemed to be pondering my offer. I could almost hear the whizzing and clinking that was going on in her brain. Unexpectedly a smile appeared on her face, " that will be fantastic! Thank you!" Another 13.5 minutes later, which were filled with, "Can you tell me how the price of this" and "but the sign said 60% off" Edna had finally left the building. Her car clickity clanking along the floor tiles and her sparkly blue loafers shuffled along creating a rhythm.

The clock on my computer showed only an hour left in my shift. Life moved at the speed of the say here. Today life was turtle paced, slow but only a little steady. Around me were piles of returns. Boxes of shoes that have "only been worn once" and jeans that "should not be fading after one wash" were stacked along the counters and floor. I saw returns like throwing out the trash. No one ever quite thinks about where it ends up. I was basically standing in the center of a landfill, without the birds flying overhead and the smell of decay in the air. So like any good and obedient worker, I set to clearing. This tedious (but oh so amazingly mind-numbing) task went on for about ten minutes when another customer showed up. The man was hard of hearing and like most of human kind, too stubborn to do anything about it. I leaned on my high school theater experience and annunciated very slowly and loudly.

"HOW ARE YOU TODAY ?" Apparently I had not used my diaphragm to its full ability and I received a blank stare before his mouth finally caught up with his head, "Huh? I want to return these pants." Taking a deep breath to increase volume I said, "OKAY I CAN HELP YOU." "Sorry what?" I would present you with the entire conversation but it was 99% shouting, 1% actual comprehension. Needless to say after that and about five other customers who chose to return the oddest items (one woman pulled about twelve bras out of a green recycled bag and another spent ten minutes carefully unwrapping individual Christmas ornaments, all of which were shaped like cowboy boots) I was welcoming the end of the day. And as I rubbed my pen inked hands down my face, I heard the sound of my savoir. "Well, this should make for a fun filled night. How busy were we today?"

"Thank God you're here Lauren, only you can save this store from exploding further. It was fairly slow today, but has you can plainly see, entire closets were returned." Lauren had been here longer than me, she had a degree in Criminology and had planned on being a lawyer, but she always said that working here at Kaine's was really her niche. Plus here it was almost perfectly acceptable to give the occasional glare towards a customer, court was too boring. She had the face of a lawyer, a demanding and determined look in her eyes, an argument always sitting on the tip of her tongue. "No problem, I'm honored to be the Superman of Kaine's. Now, you get out of here while you can. Have a good rest of the day!"

I waved my goodbyes and weaved my way through the unwanted clothes making their home on the tiled floor. Pushing through the "Employ's Only" door, the smell of hot pockets and coffee attacked my nose. The break room, where employees complained endlessly about the rudeness of customers, was empty save for the sticky traps filled with rollie pollies and the humming of the vending machines. My getaway was quick and I was soon driving down the busiest street in the city. It was during the drives home where I complained to myself. Because yourself never tries to disagree with you, although the version seen by fellow drivers is probably less sane. This was never the life I wanted for myself, but doesn't about 90% of the population say that on a regular bases? My dreams had been long forgotten, along with any hope of ever finding my way out of Lima, OH. As they say, life had other plans.

Turning onto my street I glanced at the houses passing by, all lackluster in their appearance, but somehow still emitting a feeling of homeliness. Parking my sorry excuse for a car (the driver's side lock had been busted in by some nimrod during a long shift), I walked up the weed infested sidewalk to the house I rented with my roommate Santana. Her bitchy attitude tends to throw people off, but she's a softy when she wants to be, and not to mention, she haggled the landlord into cutting our rent in half. When I walked through the door, I found her on the couch, watching one of those obviously staged court shows, and yelling at the television in Spanish.

"Hey Rachel. Can you believe this chick? Claims her best friend owes her money for "damages." Apparently didn't clean the rug when she stopped renting the house or some shit. Also this chick has been sleeping with this "best friends" boyfriend for months. What kind of messed up shit is this?"

"Crappy television?"

"Haha, very funny. So how was work?"

"The usual, evil customers, constant complaints. What about you? Any ass grabbing's today?"

Santana worked at a local bar, appropriately titled, "Easy's." All the gross, unshaven, flannel wearing men of Lima migrated there every night. But they had the best fries in town, and on weekends underage college kids flocked there because the bar was notorious for never checking ID's.

"Not so much, it was pretty slow. Except for Noah Puckerman, asshole never stops vulgarly suggesting we and I quote, "head to my apartment and see what's under that skirt.""

"Does he know you, you know…"

"I'm avoiding it, pretty sure if he knew I swung that way, it would only increase his terrible pick up lines."

I had gone to high school with Noah Puckerman, he had never failed to live up to his reputation, and even during their teen years had women lining up. Except for Santana that is. Very few of those I went to school with had made it out of Lima, instead taking over family businesses, teaching at the local schools, or like Puckerman, just kind of existing. Usually with a beer in hand.

Leaving Santana, I headed to my room, planning on washing the day off with a hot shower. Every day had been the same for the past two years. Wake up at 6am, elliptical workout, shower, coffee, work for eight plus hours, come home, shower, dinner, repeat. It wasn't that I didn't want more for myself, I did, it's just like every other case in Lima, I was stuck. Getting unstuck was proving to be an impossible dream.

As I lay in bed that night, listening to the trains pass by, whistles bursting with excitement, my over active mind begin to ponder the standard interview question: Where do you want to be in five years? I used to no without a doubt what that answer was. I'd known probably since birth, but now, I had zero idea. Or maybe I just lacked the drive I used to? I wasn't sure. Looking at my clock, 1:00am was glowing, I had to be up in five hours. New hires were coming in tomorrow, hopefully at least one of them would be work knowing. Another group of people bound to be trapped.

Sleep came to me then, I dreamed I was on a stage the lights bright and inviting. My dress shimmered and my voice carried out into the seats. But as I looked out, the seats were empty. Except for one. It was a man, that I could tell, but the only feature I could make out, were his eyes. They were brown, and so full of love. Scampering off the stage I walked toward him, willing him to come into the light, but then like every dream, I woke up.


	2. Chapter 2

Note: This second chapter is a little slow. But I promise the story will pick up. I'm not completely happy with it, but I wanted to get another chapter up. Here is chapter 2! Hope you enjoy!

It was raining as I drove to work that morning. Drops pelting my window shield, almost sounding like hail. The weather never kept customer's away, the blizzard last Christmas Eve proved that Kaine's customer's were nothing if not loyal. Only a dozen or so cars were scattered throughout the parking lot when I arrived. Slinging my purse on my shoulder I searched for my umbrella, only to find it completely crushed under my seat. We were forbidden from parking anywhere near the store, (something about being courteous towards customers) so I had a decent walk (or run) ahead of me.

Preparing myself, I threw my hood on (that jacket was my smartest decision that morning) and shoved my door open. I ran as fast as my pale blue flats would take me, the rain pelting me, puddles splashing against my legs and up my skirt. When I reached the store entrance I was soaked through. Tapping my knuckles against the glass I saw Tina heading towards me.

"Hey Rachel, forget your umbrella today?"

"Unfortunately my own car has crushed it to death. Looks like today is going to be terrible."

She gave me sympathetic smile. "Maybe you can try the bathroom hand driers?"

"Thank's Tina I might give that a go."

I gave her a small wave as I headed to the back, my wet shoes squeaking against the tiled floor. Tina was a sweet girl, the kind smiled at everyone and was still dating her high school sweetheart. She had been at Kaine's for about three months, while her boyfriend finished his medical degree at Ohio State. Staying in Lima had not been easy for her, but it was the first job that came along, and Mike would be finished by the end of year. Tina was one of the lucky ones.

The hand driers helped a bit, my shoes had lost most of their squish and my hair was only slightly damp. Grabbing my purse I headed to the lockers, mine was in a far corner, tucked away amongst the dust bunnies and lost gum wrappers. Running my fingers through my hair one last time, I punched the time clock to begin was going to be a very wet work day.

Being behind the Customer Service counter it was my unfortunate duty to show the new employees around. Our manager Mr. Shuester claimed he was too swamped (unless it was to help the new Secretary Emma), and all of our Supervisor's were jumping back and forth between departments. They all came meandering in around 9am, standing awkwardly along the wall across from the counter.

"Hey everyone, welcome to Kaine's. I'm Rachel Berry and I'll be guiding you through your orientation and showing you around today. How about we start with who you are and where you will be working."

I gestured to a blonde girl to my left. She was the spitting image of Barbie and without a doubt had to have been Captain of the Cheerleading squad.

"We'll start with you and move on down the line."

"Quinn, I'll be working at the registers."

After Quinn there was a wheel chair ridden Shoe's Associate named Artie, a young timid girl named Marley, and Jake, who clearly thought highly of himself.

"Okay now that we all know each other, how about we start our tour. Now if you'll follow me-"

"Wait! I'm so sorry I'm late. My truck has the worst tires ever and it basically just hates rain."

Momentarily speechless, I finally forced the words out of the back of my throat.

"Oh, that's fine. And your name is?"

He stuck his hand forward, shaking mine rapidly.

"Finn Hudson, I'm the new Children's Supervisor."

It was then that I looked up, ready to give him the same introduction I had given the others, when I saw his eyes for the first time. They were so familiar and I felt this tugging in my chest, almost like these eyes were something very special to me. I couldn't place it and now was not the time delve into such things. So I composed myself and smiled sweetly.

"I'm Rachel Berry, Customer Service Associate. We were just about to begin our tour, if you're ready to join us."

He nods quickly before joining the others behind me.

The tour itself is short. I show them the basics, where the departments are, fitting rooms, and threw in a joke about needing a map (did not go over well, needless to say I should never add Comic to my future list of careers). When we reached the employee break room, I showed them the time clock, gave them their badges and the usual new employee packet of useless information (this includes a history of the company and a packet of stickers with the Kaine's logo).

"Now the most important piece of information is your schedule. It shows the next two weeks, after that you will be responsible for checking the weekly schedule book. Does anyone have any questions?"

I loathed this part. The first time I gave a tour I learned quickly that the saying "There are no stupid questions" was a load of crap. A few months back a girl named Sugar asked, "Do we have our own employee restrooms or do we have to share with the commoners (yep, that happened)?"

Thankfully there were no Sugar's in this group.

"Okay if there are no questions, you all are done for the day. You can grab your things and leave. Just please, remember to check your schedules! Have a great day everyone!"

Smiling my usual "Thanks for coming, but I don't care who you are" smile, I prepared myself for another day behind the Customer Service counter. As I'm opening registers and trying not to think about my still damp skirt I hear my name.

"Have a good day Rachel, it was nice meeting you."

I look up to see it's Finn and manage to stutter, "You too." Somehow this random man who I've just met is sending me back to age sixteen with just his voice. I watch him wander off, his lanky frame almost disappearing among the now emerging customers.

Eight hours later and it was finally my weekend. Friday's could never come soon enough, especially in the world of retail. Today there were a dozen or so customer's who complained about the state of our store ("I cannot shop when there are clothes all over the floor"), a man who went on and on about the price of jeans, and there were about $10,000 worth of returns sitting in mountains around me. I told Lauren to have a good night and darted out of the building.

Sunshine was peeking from behind the clouds and the breeze was cool when I reached the parking lot. Lima was always a buzz on Friday's, those two days of freedom from a job you hate. I chose to drive with the windows down, a top 40 song playing on the radio. My mind went to my day, as it always seems to, mostly though, it went to the new Children's Supervisor. I still couldn't figure out why I was suddenly so drawn to him. Most importantly, I knew nothing about him other than his name. He was also a coworker. Off limits. Breathing the fresh rain scented air, I pushed him from my thoughts and turned up the radio.

Santana was already at work when I got home. She preferred working nights on weekends, college men always tipped better than the usual locals. Because I had zero social life, I resigned myself to left over Chinese and a movie. After staring at my collection for twenty minutes I made the decision to drag my tired self to the video store. I had thrown my PJ's on, but switched for blue jeans and slipped my loafers onto my feet.

"Lima Video" was the only video renting establishment in town. For those who had not lived in Lima their entire life, it could be considered a bit sketchy. It was situated in the only strip mall in Lima, next to a liquor store and a Radio Shack. When I arrived the blue "Open" sign was still glowing in the window, the sound of a bell rang as I walked in. The recent arrivals section was my only hope. Scanning the wall of DVD's, my thumbs hooking onto my back pockets, eyes moving back and forth, I searched for something at least mildly interesting.

"Rachel?"

I jumped slightly, covering it up by bouncing on my heels. It was Finn.

"Hello. Finn right?"

"You remember my name?"

"Of course! Finn is not a name you forget. I don't recall your last name though."

"It's Hudson. Like the river in New York."

I try not to laugh, but he was just so adorable.

"That will make it easy to remember….So what brings you to Lima Video tonight? Other than renting a film of course."

I want to smack myself, really what else would he be doing?

"Well, given that I'm new here, I figured this was the only option I had for Friday night. What about you?"

"Oh, uh. Long week of work. My roommate works at Easy's and sadly I have no social life. So here I am."

"That makes sense. Wait, that came out wrong! I'm sure you have friends, I mean why wouldn't you? You seem nice, and you're really pretty…"

He blushes then. It's cute really.

"It's fine, really. I know you didn't intend to hurt my feelings. Which you didn't."

"Good. My mouth tends to get again of my brain."

Which is exactly what happened next, my mouth spoke before I could prevent it.

"I know this might sound a little presumptuous, but would you like to join me tonight? I've got left over Chinese and pretty decent beer in the fridge."

He looks surprised. But not horrified, like he might be completely creeped out and say no.

I was ready to take back my words but then he spoke.

"Actually, yeah, that sounds great."

I had a date with Finn Hudson.

Note: I did not intend for this chapter to go the way it did. Sometimes the story just has a mind of it's own. Reviews are awesome!


	3. Chapter 3

Note: Here is the movie date. I hope you all like it! I'm very determined to get a chapter out every day! Hopefully I'll pull one out before work tomorrow. Reviews are awesome!

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.

Nervous. Really undeniably nervous. I wasn't sure why, considering this was my brilliant idea. "Rachel why on earth did you say such a thing? You work with him. A relationship can never happen. Is he extremely good looking? God yes. But oh, what the hell did you get yourself into?"

In this moment as I'm talking to myself, I'm so glad Finn offered to follow me. The awkward conversation that occurs, because you just cannot sit in a car with somebody and not talk. I peeked at my rearview mirror. Finn, tapping his thumbs against the steering wheel at every stop light. I couldn't tell if he was nervous too. And I wasn't sure if that would calm me or not.

Turning into my cracked driveway, I motioned for him to park in the street. Breathing deeply (who knew that one week of yoga classes would be useful?) I opened my car door, still mentally preparing myself for this impending date.

"Wow, you live here?"

Our house was small, just two bedrooms, but had enough windows to send the sun in and wake you every morning. The outside needed a new paint job and the gate surrounding the yard was missing a post or two. So I really couldn't understand Finn's awe.

"Yes, with my roommate Santana, I think I've mentioned her before. The rent is cheap and we don't have to share a bathroom. So it's a steal."

Leading him inside, his eyes went slightly wide, he reminded me of a child in a toy store.

"This is a huge step up from the apartment I'm renting over on Adams. I barely fit in the kitchen and I'm pretty sure my neighbor has like six dogs."

"I completely understand. Mrs. Crinshaw used to live next store until her family forced her into a retirement home. She had this dog, small thing, it would yap all night. Once Santana threatened to go all "Lima heights" on that dog if she didn't do something about it."

"I'm not sure I want to know what "Lima Heights" is, Santana sounds kind of scary."

I couldn't help but let out a barely noticeable giggle.

"Santana is harmless, for the most part. And honestly if I were ever involved in a fight, which I would never be because I do not condone violence, I would want her on my side."

" Hey I don't blame you. It's nice to have someone in your corner."

Brief silence ensued. Both of us standing awkwardly in the living room. I was the host, I had to say something.

"Hey, uh, how about you get comfortable and I'll be back in just a second."

Dashing to my bathroom I closed the door quietly. Checking myself in the mirror I applied a tad more mascara, my favorite lip gloss, and ran my fingers through my hair. As I was heading toward the door I saw my body spray. I wasn't trying to impress him, really I wasn't. What's so wrong with smelling delightful?

Our kitchen was right around the corner, with its yellow walls and thrift store appliances. The fridge was stocked with beer (the real liquor sat in the cabinet under the sink) and containers of leftovers. Eyeing the contents I gathered a few Chinese takeout containers and a beer for Finn. Being that I wasn't much of a beer drinker, I kept a bottle of wine on hand. After pouring myself a glass, I carefully balanced my small abundance of items and headed to the living room.

I found Finn wandering around the living room, glancing at the trinkets on the coffee table and the pictures on the walls.

"Is this you?"

He was holding a small 8 by 10, stuck in a frame surrounded by tiny gold stars.

"Oh yes, that's me at I think around age 8."

"You were cute, with that ballet outfit on. Who are the two people with you."

I hesitated.

"Those are my fathers, and before you ask, I was born via a surrogate and have never met my mother."

"Oh that's cool, that you have two fathers, mine died when I was a baby."

There was a thoughtful glint in his eyes. As if recalling a memory he didn't want to lose.

"I'm sorry, that must have been difficult growing up without a father."

"There were times when I wished he was there. Scoring my first homerun, learning how to ride a bike, talking to girls. When my mom remarried my junior year of high school, to this really nice guy named Burt, things got a lot better. He wasn't my dad but he did help ease the pain a bit."

"My father's had problems with talking about girl stuff. But I had a few Aunts that helped out."

We were both silent for a moment.

"Okay, so I hope you like imported beers, this one I believe is from somewhere in Europe. And you can help yourself to the food. We've got, fried rice, sesame chicken, and a few spring rolls."

"Thanks. I'm starving. What movie did we get again?"

I picked up the clear plastic case from the coffee table.

"Argo. I've heard it's supposed to be good."

Popping the movie into the dvd player I searched for the proper controllers, turning on the surround sound and adjusting the volume.

"You have surround sound? And a good size television? I'm impressed."

"Santana insisted we have a decent movie experience and I couldn't argue. Plus it means no one can hear me when I sing along to musicals."

"You sing?"

I mentally kicked myself. That was not something I ever intended to share. Musicals were sacred to me, I worshipped them, breathed them in. Santana only knew of my secret by accident. Having come home early one evening to find me belting out the lyrics to Rent.

"Not really, I mean at least not in front of others."

Thankfully he dropped the subject, probably sensing my tension. I moved to sit down next to him, spooning fried rice into a bowl.

The film started and we both became silent. Clanking of forks against bowls and movie music filled the air. I took a sip of my wine, the nerves I felt earlier slowly drifting from the tips of my fingers. I could relax, this was just an evening between two friends (could we really be considered friends?).

About 20 minutes into the movie and I became a bit daring. My head fell lightly onto his shoulder and I left it there. Maybe it was the wine or the smell of Finn's cologne but slowly I begin to feel at ease. With a man I had met just that morning. It was ridiculous by all assumptions. Love at first sight was something I believed to have been created by romantic novelists, and I wasn't in love with him. What was this then?

Thinking wasn't helping. So instead I focused on the film. Not how warm his shoulder was, or how I didn't mind for a second when he put his arm along the back of the couch, hand brushing against my arm.

My eyes began to droop, I was so warm and relaxed. And Finn smelled so perfect, and safe. I never knew a person could smell safe. Without much thought I snuggled closer and I swear his arm wrapped around me tighter.

Suddenly I felt shaking.

I ignored it, snuggling closer into the couch. Wait, the couch? There was a blanket over me as well. Opening my eyes I saw Santana staring down at me.

"Where's Finn?"

"Who the hell is Finn? Did you finally get laid? I hope so because I've been telling you for weeks you needed to let lose a little. So who is this Finn guy?"

"He's no one important."

"If you say so. I just got home and found you passed out on the couch. Figured you might prefer your bed."

"Oh well, thank you. How was work tonight?"

"I made about $500 in tips. So pretty decent for a Friday night."

"Okay well, I'm going to get out of these jeans and go to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

"So are you really not going to tell me about the mysterious Finn?"

"No, I told you it's not important."

"Oh come on, not even a little bit of info? Like what does he look like?"

"Goodnight Santana."

"Fine, I'll let it go for now. But be warned, I get it out of you eventually."

Waving her off, I reached my bathroom shutting the door. When my teeth were brushed I collapsed onto my bed.

What had happened tonight? And why had Finn just left? Great I was going to be up all night thinking. Just then I heard my phone go off.

-I had a great time tonight. Maybe next time you'll stay awake. Sleep well. Don't let the bed bugs bite, Finn-

Finn had text me. How on earth did he get my number? My phone beeped again.

-Also I may have snagged your number off your phone, hope that's okay, Finn-

As I attempted a reply (it would be rude not to, right?) I thought about what he had said.

There was going to be a next time? But that couldn't happen, coworkers after all. A part of me wanted a next time, despite the rules. Could I Rachel Berry be a rule breaker? It was then that I came up with a reply.

-I had great time too. Goodnight =) –

Satisfied I snuggled under my pink comforter. A beep resounded from my phone for a third time.

- =) –

I was screwed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: This chapter ended up being a lot longer than I anticipated. But I really didn't want to split it into two. Let me know what you think! I'm working on writing a couple more chapters! Look for them! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.**

Two weeks. That's the amount of time between my pseudo date with Finn and well, now. I knew it shouldn't bother me, other than falling asleep on his shoulder (such a comfortable shoulder no less) I never sent any signals. And let's be honest, I'm a terrible flirter (is that a word?). During high school I'd watch as the Quinn's of the world whispered words in sexy tones and wore the perfect shade of lip gloss. My only attempt at flirting ended with a bruised elbow and a rip in my skirt (the desk leg jumped out, I swear). Needless to say, the boys never came knocking at my door.

So here I sit in the break room, picking at a peeled orange, some nonsense reality show playing on the television in the corner, wondering what step to take. It's not that I've been avoiding Finn. We do talk, of course it's the same conversation, which goes like this:

Scene: Kaine's Main Store Entrance, Characters: Finn Hudson, Rachel Berry

Rachel: "Why hello Finn, how are you this (insert weather related adjective, such as "cold", "cloudy", or "sunny") morning?"

Finn: "I'm good, how are you?"

Rachel: "Splendid as always. Would you like a breath mint?"

Finn: "Sure, why not. Thanks."

Rachel: "I hope we're not too busy today."

Finn: "Me too."

Rachel: "Oh look, there comes someone to let us in."

End Scene

Every damn morning it's the same. And I cannot for the life of me come up with anything remotely intelligent to say. Talking to any of my coworkers would be useless (also I would prefer not to put ideas in anyone's head) and Santana would likely make a comment about how I should just "find an empty broom closet and get it on." I need answers and if I'm going to admit it to myself, those are probably found in Finn. We are the only two people involved in this situation after all.

Pulling out my phone I compose a text, or try to. How exactly do you do this? "Hey Finn, what's up?" is bound to elicit another repeat of our daily conversation and getting to the point "So why haven't you been talking to me?" only makes me out to be the victim when there was no crime to begin with.

Just as I'm writing and rewriting I hear shuffling behind me. A chair is pulled across the floor, screeching its protest, and then someone is in front of me. Closing my phone in aggravation I expect to see Tina, but instead my answers sit before me.

"Hey Rachel."

"Hi Finn, how are you?"

I'm nervous again, he makes me nervous.

"Okay, can we just hold off on the "How are you" 's for a moment?"

I see he chose getting to the point, my breath halts.

"Um, yes, of course."

My thumbs start to rub together, I cannot sit still. The anticipation, it's setting me on edge.

"A few things. First off, why haven't you sent me one single text. I mean, I know I kind of stole your number, but I assumed that because you responded you weren't creeped out or something."

Clearing my throat, I can only get one word out.

"A-a-afraid."

Finn's eyebrows knit together, his confusion sitting in his eyes and the creases on his forehead.

"What do you mean, afraid?"

This is going to be another one of those "tell all" conversations, like the one two weeks ago. But I'm fairly certain this will be one sided.

"You make me nervous."

"Wha-at? I do?"

"It's like when I'm around you, and please forgive me for sounding sixteen, I lose my voice, my palms sweat, and my heart kind of clenches. I've only just met you and the fact that I'm feeling these things at all, it's what makes me so afraid."

"Wow, that's a lot."

"Yeah, I know."

"But, there's got to be another reason why you're so afraid, I can sense it somehow."

"No uh…not really"

I'm not going to admit defeat. Because admitting it will only lead to all of my secrets spilling out against my will. And given that I've just met Finn, is he worth hearing those secrets?

He prods me again, but as gently as anyone could.

"Come on Rachel, you can talk to me. I mean we all have insecurities, but they make us who we are. So please talk to me."

"You make it sound so simple and I'm not sure it is."

His smile illuminates the room. He's so patient it tugs at my heart, just a little.

I gather myself, deep breaths, in and out.

"You see, I've had one boyfriend. In high school. His name was Jesse. Jesse St. James. He was the male lead in our Glee club. Me is female counterpart, our duets were flawless. So, when he asked me out, I was thrilled. We could shine together. Like stars."

His hand had settled on top of mine, calming me.

"When his senior year came, he was a year older, he got accepted into a performing arts school in California. A full ride. I'd hoped we could make it long distance, assumed he would want to work, for us. We were in love after all. Or really, I was. Turns out he had been seeing someone else. Some blonde girl from another school. His audition tape was a duet of ours. Apparently he had used me for my voice. Worst part is he admitted all this on the auditorium stage."

His eyes were sad and a bit angry.

"That's horrible, what a douchebag. I'm so sorry you had to go through that."

"It's okay, I mean it's the past, I shouldn't let it run my life. Not all men are total assholes."

"I hope I'm not one of them."

"Trust me you aren't, you're sweet."

There was a comfortable silence, the humming of the vending machine carrying through the room.

"So, are we friends?"

It wasn't a question, more of a validation.

"Yes, Finn, of course we're friends."

"Oh thank God, you have no idea how much it sucks not talking to you."

"Am I really that interesting?"

"Yeah, you are. But can we please never have a conversation about the weather again? And no more breath mints. I cringe every time I brush my teeth."

His smile reaches his eyes.

"Shake on it?"

Our hands meet palm to palm and suddenly I feel lighter. And then I remember where we are.

"I cannot believe I just told you all about Jesse, in the break room at Kaine's."

"No one heard, and plus this like the venting room."

"The venting room?"

His face lights up like he's discovered something before anyone else. It's endearing.

"Yeah, you know the venting room. The only place in the entire store where it's okay to complain about your job. Or in this case, your life."

"I've never realized that before, you're very insightful."

I swear I see him sit taller.

Glancing at the clock I see it's a few minutes past the end of my lunch hour.

"Well, as nice as this has been I unfortunately have to get back to work."

As I begin to gather my barely touched orange and my water, he stands up, looking contemplative.

"What?"

He hesitates, scratching his chin.

"Would you like to go bowling with me tonight? It's been two weeks since that night at your house, and I kind of feel like you owe me."

Is he asking me out?

"Owe you?"

"Yeah, for falling asleep on me. It be nice, you know if we could actually talk."

"You're right, I do owe you. Do you want me to meet you there?"

This is just a friend thing. Friends tend to drive separately.

"Um, no I'll pick you up at 7?"

"That's fine. Should give me enough time to get ready.'

"Okay, text me your address."

"I will, see you later."

I leave him with a small wave.

"Yeah, see ya."

Finn's blue truck pulls up at exactly seven. He honks his horn, letting me know of his arrival. I didn't need the announcement, given that I had been staring at the clock ready to go since 6 o'clock. This wasn't a date, just like the movie two weeks ago wasn't a date. Finn and I are friends, work friends who are going to start hanging out outside of work. That's all we are, period end of sentence. Or that's what I'm telling myself.

Throwing my pink cardigan over my arm, I sling my purse over my shoulder and head to the front door. Taking a much needed deep breath I step into the cool Autumn air. Finn is tapping is fingers against the steering wheel again, something I've decided must be a nervous habit.

He's still tapping a beat, when I knock on the passenger window. The clink of the lock is heard. Opening the door I use the handle to push myself up into the truck.

"You look nice tonight."

I blush, my hands running subconsciously back and forth on my thighs.

"Thank you. You clean up quite nicely."

He's wearing a deep green sweater, I've never seen is eyes pop so effortlessly.

"Is that supposed to be a compliment?"

He looks offended.

"Well, yes. Not that you don't always look nice. I mean you just look particularly nice tonight."

Laughter vibrates the windows.

"I'm sorry, I was only kidding."

I roll my eyes in mock irritation. But cannot help but smile.

Finn starts the truck moving out onto the street. The radio is set to a rock station, the sounds of Journey providing a soundtrack for the car ride, I notice Finn tapping is thumbs against the steering wheel again.

"Why do you do that?"

His eyes move back and forth, confusion evident.

"Um, do what?"

"You're tapping your fingers against the steering wheel, I've seen you do that before."

He looks slightly caught off guard.

"Oh that. Most of the time I don't even know I'm doing it. I'm a drummer, not professionally or anything, other than a few bands in high school. It's really just a hobby."

"It's not a hobby if you're good at it. Or that's what my high school theater teacher always said."

"How would you know if I'm good or not?"

"Because, like you said, you never really know you're doing it. So it must be a passion, otherwise you would have given it up a long time ago. Hobbies fade away, passion never fades."

"Did your teacher say that too?"

I may never tell him who said that.

"No it was someone else, a long time ago…Oh look there's the turn to the Bowling Alley."

I'm thankful for the distraction, and more so that he isn't asking any more questions.

The truck stops with a soft clink. When I try to open the door, Finn gets there before me, taking my hand as I step down.

"Why thank you Finn, I guess chivalry isn't dead after all."

It's his turn to blush.

Stepping into Lima Bowl (if you haven't noticed most every establishment in Lima, begins with "Lima") the smell of sweaty shoes and wax hits my nose. There's a small man behind the counter. His hair throwing itself in every direction and his glasses have a magnifying effect. I vaguely wonder if he's related to Edna.

"Hello welcome to Lima Bowl, how many tonight?"

His nasally voice causes me to cringe, yep he's related to Edna alright.

Just as I'm searching through my wallet for cash, Finn speaks first.

"Two tonight."

"Finn, you don't have too. I can pay for myself."

"It's no problem this was my idea anyway."

We tell him our shoe sizes and head to lane 5.

I end up with a pink ball, which I am positive is children's size. Finn finds this highly amusing.

"What are you five?"

"Hardy har, I cannot help that my fingers are tiny. It's genetics."

"Okay sorry, Miss Tiny Fingers, it's your turn first."

I'm not about to admit this.

"Um, so maybe, I've never bowled before?"

Finn looks astonished, maybe even a bit horrified.

"How have you never been bowling? It's like an American pastime."

"My father's were never bowlers and because I had practically no friends I was never invited to birthday parties here."

"That's so sad. But we're going to fix that today. I'm going to teach you how to bowl."

"Good luck. I'm terrible at sports."

Finn scuffed.

"Come on, bowling is easy, you just have to aim correctly. Here, hold the ball up to your face, level with your chin."

He's holding on gently to my arm, and is so close I can smell his cologne again.

My arm is pulled back in a swinging motion.

"See, it's easy just swing back and then forward. Try it on your own."

Practicing the arm movement Finn taught me I swing my arm back, the ball fly's out of my hand, and lands in the gutter.

Finn is trying desperately not to laugh, his body shaking.

"See it's completely hopeless."

"Wait, wait. Come on, you've still got one more turn. Just relax and let the ball do its job."

Grabbing my ball and setting myself into position again, I try to relax. Mind set, I pull my arm back and then let the ball go. I close my eyes, afraid to watch the ball hit the gutter again.

"Rachel look you knocked down six pins!"

Finn has his arms in the air, triumph on his face.

"Yes! Maybe I'm not so bad after all."

He high fives me, because even though I kind of want to hug him, this is what friends do.

"Okay my turn next, prepare to be squashed Berry."

He won four out of the five games we played. I'm positive he let me win that last one, as every time he stepped up to the line and threw his ball, strike.

But, honestly it's been fun. He bought us a pizza to share between games three and four, and took my bowling shoes back for me. It was almost like a date, except it wasn't.

"Here's your ice cream, I got you the small cone, because tiny you could never eat that much."

"Noah Puckerman's 10th birthday party."

"Who? And What?"

"There was a sundae bar. Toppings lined up in bowls. Gummy bears, chocolate chips, those little mints you get at weddings. I piled an enormous amount onto my equally sized bowl of Chocolate Swirl ice cream. A few rounds of Duck Duck Goose and a game of Pin the tail on the Donkey and I spilled the entire contents of my stomach onto Noah's brand new Buzz Lightyear."

"Poor Buzz. And you too of course. That had to have been embarrassing."

"Thank you so much for reminding me. This is delicious by the way."

I lick my cone in appreciation, ice cream always taste better when the temperature drops.

Finn's phone goes off, he looks contemplative.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh nothing's wrong. It's just my mom, she just figured out how to text, I haven't actually spoken to her in a week."

"Well, that's sweet of you to indulge."

His phone goes off again. I hear him sigh.

"While I hate to cut this awesome night short, it's getting late. How about I take you home."

"Finn it's Friday."

"I know, but long week you know?"

"Oh, ok, I guess I could use the sleep anyway. Arguing with people wears you out."

Finishing up my cone, I deposit my blowing shoes and follow Finn out the door.

The drive back is quiet, and Finn's phone repeats again and again the same tone. I'm all but ready to ask him if it's really his mother when the truck stops.

"Tonight was fun Finn, we should do it again sometime."

"Yeah. Well, I'll see you at work on Monday."

I want to kiss his cheek, but we're friends so that has to be off limits. Instead I choose to wave lightly, before stepping out of the truck and to my front door.

As he drives away, the clinking getting softer every second, I cannot help but wonder about tonight. We were having fun, Finn telling lame jokes that were so terrible you really could not laugh. But then he got that text. Which begs the question, is there something Finn isn't telling me? I do not believe I have the right to be privy to his personal life, not yet.

As I'm lying in bed that night, like the first time, I my phone goes off again. Except this time I'm more confused than nervous.

-I'm sorry about tonight. I had a lot of fun. Promise to make it up to you. Have good night. Sleep well.-Finn-

**A/N 2: Finn is hiding something... or someone? Stay tuned. =)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: Here's the next Chapter! I know one reviewer was concerned Finn is a hooker, don't worry there are no hookers in this story. =) Thank you all so much for your reviews! Keeps me motivated! There may be another chapter tonight, depending on my evening. Hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.**

Mixed signals should be illegal. How hard is it to answer "Yes" or "No"? When you try the "Bartender's Specialty" at the request of, yes, the bartender, it's either going to be "This is my new favorite drink!" or "Dear God, that's horrible, please take that away and make me a 7 and 7." You do not for any reason say to the bartender, "I really like this drink, but I'm not sure I'll have it again."

Finn has been, well, friendly towards me since our bowling night. A gentleman like, opening the door for me, stopping me with an umbrella before I'm soaked by the rain. He lends me change when I forget my water bottle at home and has bought me lunch on more than one occasion. I'm Rachel, girl he shows interest in.

But then, there's what I have titled the, "Distant Days". Where Finn stays concentrated on his work. Setting walls, putting out merchandise, finding items for complaining customers. During breaks, sitting on a chair in the corner, glued to his phone. Sometimes stepping outside for private conversations. I'm nothing but Rachel, coworker.

Rolling the dice has become my only option now, I cannot predict which Finn I'll get.

I have not actually seen Finn today. It's Monday here at Kaine's, everything is quieter at the beginning of the work week. Mr. Shuester and the rest of the management team use this day to spruce the store up. We're picture perfect on Monday's. Which is why Customer Service is dead, and I'm thinking about Finn. Customer's provide an excellent (although not any less annoying) distraction from the plague's in my mind.

I'm scratching out division problems on a piece of receipt tape (old habit from high school) when the object of my thoughts appears.

"Hey Rachel."

The dice was right. I'm his interest today.

"Hi Finn, how are you today? Busy on the floor?"

He runs his hand through is hair and then sets his hands on the counter. His thumbs start tapping.

"Good, lot's of freight….Listen, remember how I said I would make it up to you?"

"Yes, I do recall that particular promise."

"Well, a band here in Lima needed a drummer. And I remembered you saying that I shouldn't consider drumming a hobby, so I played for them. Anyway, we have a show tonight, at that bar your roommate works at."

"Easy's has live music now?"

"We're actually their first gig. Sam, who's our guitarist talked them in to letting us play. Sure it's on a Monday but, it's something."

"Wow, that's awesome, congratulations."

"So you'll be there?"

"Um, yes, yes, I'll be there."

"Great! We start playing at 8."

"Please Santana! No one goes to a concert alone."

"While I see your point, I'm at that bar far too often to want to ever be there on my own accord."

"I'll buy all of your drinks! Anything you want."

"Oh please, I work there, I could just step around the bar and make my own drink if I wanted to."

"Please Please Please!"

"Why is this so important to you? And what is the name of this band anyway?"

"New Directions."

"Wait, hold on. Puckerman's band? Since when do you care about..hold on. Does this have something to do with that Finn guy you've been mumbling about in your sleep?"

"I have not been mumbling about him and okay maybe he's sort of the drummer."

I waited for the questions. The pulling and prodding until I finally caved and revealed everything.

"Well, than we must sex you up tonight."

"Why does this worry me? Are you going to turn in me into some kind of hooker?!"

"Relax, I know what I'm doing, trust me. Finn will drooling on his snare drum."

Santana had done okay. All the important "parts" were covered (why must girls reveal everything at once? What happened to leaving things to the imagination?) and she allowed me to wear flats. My hair was loosely curled and pulled into a low side pony. But as nice as I looked, the never failing nerves kicked in. Whatever I am with Finn is still up in the air, hanging somewhere between the clouds and heaven, just waiting to for the chance to come down with the rain. It was now up to the weather, which is unfortunate as Bill Rangley, the weatherman on Channel 5, predicted sunshine all week.

Easy's was surprisingly full for a Monday night. Every seat along the bar was filled, waitresses holding trays above their head. There was a small stage set up, one of those portable one's they use at elementary school band concerts. A red drum set sat near the back of the stage and microphones were ready at the front.

"Hey there's a table over near the stage. You sit, I'll grab the drinks. Usual?"

Nodding, I headed to the table, sitting and smoothing my blue dress under my thighs. I checked my phone, no messages from Finn.

"Here is your Amaretto Sour, I got you a tall, nothing wrong with letting loose once in a while."

"Thank you, this is fantastic."

"So when does the show start?"

Taking a sip of my drink, I checked the time again.

"In about two minutes, Finn said they were going on at 8."

Out of the corner of my eye I see a blonde haired man with a surfer haircut come striding onto the stage from a side door. Behind him is Noah Puckerman, a short dark haired man wearing a bow tie, and then there he was. Finn looks good tonight. Wearing a vintage tour t-shirt and a pair of black converse.

"Is that Finn? He's a little too tall for my taste and his facial expression kind of reminds me of a scared Lemur, but hey I understand the attraction."

I roll my eyes as the click of the microphone pierces my ears.

"Good, evening Lima, Ohio! We are New Directions and we've got a great show for you tonight!"

Noah adjusts his guitar and turns to Finn.

"Count it off Hudson."

Finn holds his drum sticks in the air, tapping.

"One! Two! One, two, three, four!"

The first song is off.

"Who knew Puckerman had any talent? These guys are actually decent."

I'm too preoccupied watching Finn. His arms are strong, maybe even a little bit tense, but confidence basks in his eyes. He looks at home.

New Directions continues to play into the hour. The crowd at Easy's seems entertained, dancing next to the stage, women shouting "Sing to me boys!", but like any night at Easy's it could be the cheap beer and whiskey.

"Okay guys, we've got one more song for you! Thanks to Easy's for having us and you all have a rockin' night!"

"Really, a rockin' night? We are in Lima aren't we."

I can't help but laugh, she's probably right. Considering having a third drink my arm starts to flag the waitress down. Then I hear a voice. It's not Noah's.

Finn is still in his place behind the drums, but he's singing. I can't tell you what the words are only that I feel a pull as his voice floods the bar. Finn can sing.

"Wow, Lurch has talent."

"Yeah, yeah he does."

My eyes stay on Finn and the song has reached its last chord before I wish it to. The boys all bow, and the crowd claps. They start taking down and putting away all their equipment. This is my chance.

"I'll be right back Santana."

As I'm walking over I hear Finn on the phone.

"Yeah, we're just packing up. How did she do? Good. I'll be home in about ten minutes. Okay, Marley see you then."

Wait, Marley from work? Why would Finn be talking to her?

I push my curiosity aside to go congratulate Finn.

"Hey Finn, great show!"

"Oh, hey, you came! So you enjoyed it?"

"Yeah, you guys were amazing. But you were the real talent, I didn't know you could sing."

"Oh, yeah thanks."

He smiles at me, scratches the pack of his neck.

"Listen Rachel, thanks for coming tonight. It was nice to have a friend out there."

"Oh the pleasure is mine. When do I get to see another show?"

"I'm not sure, Puck was going to talk the manager into letting us play regularly."

"Congratulations! I'm so proud of you!"

"Thanks. I hate to cut this short, again, but I've got to get home. Work tomorrow morning you know."

"Not even for one drink?"

I know I shouldn't get my hopes up, judging from his phone conversation I'm keeping him.

"I would if I could honestly."

"Why do I feel like you're not telling me something? Or is it me?"

"No it's not you at all, you're awesome! And really, I'm just tired. Promise."

"So I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, we'll have lunch?"

"That sounds perfect."

He walks away then, twirling his keys around his finger.

"Why'd Finn leave?"

"You know Santana, I was wondering the same thing."

**A/N 2: Finn's definitely hiding something and it's big. Also what happened to Rachel's dad's? Stay tuned. =) **


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: So I wrote this chapter rather quickly. I know it's short, but it's more of a transition, with a little more of course. I've figured out where this story is going and I'm so excited! Should be around ten chapters or so. Thank you so much for all the favorites, follows, and reviews! Enjoy****!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.**

"Hooker."

"What do you mean hooker?"

"Lurch has to be a call boy, why else would he be constantly glued to his phone."

"Finn is not a hooker. I'm pretty positive hookers make a decent wage, and Finn works at Kaine's full time. No, it's something bigger. Maybe he's an FBI agent. All black suits and secret camera's."

"Finn would be a terrible FBI agent, he's too tall, and I could place a major bet on how quickly he would shoot himself in the foot, with his own gun. Nope, it's personal. If it weren't he would tell you."

"I guess you're right, but that doesn't mean it bothers me any less."

Santana has been my only confident these past two weeks. She's an outside party, not connected to Finn in any way, I can trust her. And while going back and forth with outlandish ideas on the mystery of Finn has been fun, I'm tired. That begs the question of whether Finn is worth it. Is waiting for him to reveal whatever this secret is worth it all? Or do I move on, stay his friend but never push for the reveal? My head tells me to do the latter, but that tug, the one that pulls me towards him and has me listening to Taylor Swift in the car, it wants me to stay. Let it do its work.

Winter has slowly merged itself into the fall, the temperature fluctuating from cool to freezing. I've taken the next week off of work, my few years there has allowed me at least three vacation weeks a year. So like the good employ I am I took off the week before Thanksgiving. All hell breaks loose when Black Friday hits. Holiday season comes and suddenly Lima has tripled in population. So, in order to avoid spontaneously combusting I always take this week away from Kaine's.

I've been in the house for the better part of three days, reading novel after novel from the hundred plus books collecting dust on my shelf. Santana worked every evening while I clicked "next episode" on every season of Mad Men.

"Well, while you decide what to do about Mr. Bond, I'm heading off to another night of old wasted men grabbing my ass."

"At least you get tips."

"Correct. Also for me, could you please get out of the house? Just go to the grocery store or something?"

"I am out of shampoo and another pint of ice cream couldn't hurt."

"There's my girl. I'll see you later tonight."

"Have fun with Puckerman!"

She gestured rather inappropriately on her way out the door.

Lima Grocery was rather empty at 7 o'clock at night. The after work rush had already found its way out the door and the employs were beginning their nightly clean up. I headed straight to the personal care section, grabbing my shampoo, before looking for the frozen dessert. As I turned the corner to the aisle a cart came out of nowhere.

"I am so sorry, I should have been watching where I was going, are you o-Finn?"

Fear was in his eyes, desperation to run. My eyes were trained on him, until slowly, they moved to the cart. Sitting in the cart, in a purple jacket, was a little girl. This was the reveal.

"You're a father?!"

"Rachel look I can explain, it's not what you think!"

"How could it not be? There's a baby right there, in that cart. I'm not blind! And to think, I thought you were interested in me."

"I was, I am! If you would just let me explain-"

"I don't need excuses. All the answers are right in front of me. Have a nice life Finn."

"Rachel wait!"

I ignored him through my tears, heading directly to the checkout. His voice was still shouting for me as I ran out the door, before in getting my car and running away.

Glancing at my rearview mirror I saw him pushing the cart into the parking lot, the baby in his arms now, her arms reaching for his face. Finn's a father.

My ice cream was probably going to melt. I could care less, I needed something strong and that was not going to be Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream. Thank God Santana's a bar tender.

Easy's was fairly empty, which was fantastic, I needed to vent. Sitting down on the nearest bar stool, I see Santana come over to me.

"Rachel, what are you doing here? You look pissed. Why do you look pissed?"

"I need a drink, make me something strong."

She dashes over, grabs a glass, before mixing at least six or seven different kinds of alcohol.

"Here's a Long Island, bar version, not those fruity things you find at Applebee's. Now talk."

After taking a long drink I regain my composure.

"He's has a child."

"Who has a child?"

"Finn, he's apparently a father."

"Seriously?! That was his secret? Hooker could have been worse."

"How is finding out he's a father better than being a hooker? It probably mean's he has an entire family I don't know about."

" Means he's responsible. How did you find out?"

"Grocery store, I ran into his cart."

"Well, what did Lurch have to say for himself?"

I look guiltily at her. Taking another long gulp.

"You didn't let him explain? Come on Rachel you could have at least given the guy a few words in."

"I know, I know, but I was so shocked. Finn has a kid. What the hell am I supposed to do with that?"

"Well, first you're going to finish that drink, then I'm talking to my manager, and taking you home. Where we will both share that pint of ice cream I know you have in your car."

"Thank you Santana."

"That's what are roommates for right?"

She takes me home twenty minutes later. I've gone from sad/confused to angry to devastated. My heart tells me I should have let Finn explain, but what good would that have done? He has a child, probably a family, where would I fit in?

"Okay, so because you are going through a sort of break-up I'll let you watch the film of your choosing. Not that I even have to ask which one."

"Funny Girl?

"See, I knew it. Okay I'm going fill some glasses with wine and pop some popcorn. You get comfy."

She pads off to the kitchen. After putting the movie in, I grab my favorite blanket from our blanket basket (it has a scene from 42nd street in New York) and snuggle up on the couch.

Our doorbell rings.

"Rachel can you get that? I've got to watch the popcorn. Our microwave is iffy."

Reluctantly I pull myself up, not sure who's behind the door.

Swinging it open, I see him.

"What are you doing here?"

"I need to explain."

"Where's your daughter?"

"She's with a babysitter. Please just let me in."

I move aside. Hand on my hip.

"Fine, you have ten minutes."

**A/N 2: So big reveal has finally happened! But it might not be what you think. Also, Rachel's story is coming up. Stay tuned!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: Here it is! Chapter 7! I really like how this turned out. Being original in my story lines is very important to me, so I had to come up with a totally different plot twist. I hope you all enjoy! Thanks for your reviews, favorites, and follows! **

_3 Months Ago_

I Finn Hudson have the worst luck. Getting lost in Cincinnati on the way to what is probably the most important interview of my life, was really enough. But then, it had to rain. You see rain never leads to a great day. I know it's supposed to be good luck on a wedding day, and it helps flowers grow and all that, but it causes so many problems. First you have to remember an umbrella, because you are not for any reason wearing that raincoat your fashonista brother got you for your birthday, it has a hood. Unless it's a hoodie, men don't wear hoods.

So you're trying to maneuver yourself and the umbrella through the crowds of downtown Cincinnati, when the wind picks up. Your only form of protection turns inside out. Because it's mid-day rush hour there are no cabs, which means your hair is flat, suit jacket socked through, but lucky for you your feet are dry, you'll have to thank your brother for forcing $150 leather dress shoes on you.

After checking your watch (another gift from said brother) you find you still have 45 minutes to spare. Your questionable (but cheap) apartment is about five blocks away. It is in this moment that you decide you're still the badass athlete your were in high school (quarterback thank you very much) and run the entire way home. Finally you reach your front door, barely able to breathe. That second suit is pressed and clean, hanging in your closet (bless that brother of yours). It takes you all of ten minutes to change, managing some of that precious time to become reacquainted with the blow dryer.

Deciding walking the rain is hazardous, you instead choose to drive yourself (you wonder why you didn't in the first place). Pulling out of the apartment complex you notice the rain is falling harder now. As you head down the street your windows fog up, the entire world outside your window shield is blurred. The defroster is moving slowly but the view is getting better. It's only then that you learn it's too late. You don't see the other car, or the red light beaming through the rain. There's not even enough time to have your life flash before you. The blackness is the only thing you know.

I'm in a hospital. I know this because of the beeping. And to be honest, I'm a little afraid to open my eyes. What if my arms and legs are gone? Like Joe in "Johnny Got his Gun." Or I could have no memory of who I am? Which is ridiculous considering I am aware that I could have forgotten everything. I decide to take a chance and open my eyes. Yep, hospital room. Turning my head, I see a woman asleep in one of those God awful chairs they provide.

"Mom?"

I've never seen her move so fast.

"Oh, Finn honey, you're awake! How are you feeling?"

It hurts to breathe. And my head is pounding.

"Like I pummeled by the biggest linebacker ever. What happened?"

"You were in a car accident. They said you went through a red light. Luckily all you have is a slight concussion and a few cracked ribs."

Panic sets in. Car accident, red light, a small blue car. Shit.

"Mom was anyone else hurt? Did I hit someone? Are they okay?"

She sits on my bed then, grasping my hand.

"Honey, first off, it's not your fault, you couldn't see. It was an accident. You would never intentionally hurt someone."

"But did I? Hurt someone I mean."

"When you slid through the intersection, there was a car passing through. A young girl was driving, honey, she hasn't woken up yet."

I might have possibly killed someone. Because getting to my interview was more important that waiting ten minutes for my window to clear.

"Oh, God. I need to see her, apologize to her family."

"No, you need your rest."

A nurse came in, adding a shot of something to the IV in my arm.

"I have to…"

Mom refused to let me leave my bed for the better part of a week. Something about how my ribs needed to heal. I was getting restless and I needed to make sure that girl I hit was going to survive. No one was pressing any charges, it was clearly an accident, Mom was right.

"Finn are you sure you're going to be okay without me?"

"Mom don't worry, it's only one night. Burt misses you. I'm positive the guy has probably been living off of nothing but cold pizza and beer all week. Go home, I'll be fine."

"Okay, if you're sure. I'll see you tomorrow. Burt is coming back with me, and Kurt is flying in from New York."

"Kurt doesn't need to come all the way here. I'm fine aren't I?"

"You know Kurt, until he sees that you're okay, he won't rest."

"I've talked to him on the phone."

"Well, he won't believe if it until he sees you. So you get some rest, and I'll see you tomorrow."

"Drive safe, Love you."

"Love you too."

She kisses my forehead, like she did when I was six and had the flu. It's soothing.

Then I'm alone.

Kurt fusses over me more than my own mother. But he brought me pillows from home and a more comfortable set of pajamas.

"These things they call gowns are disgusting. How they caught on, I will never understand."

My stepfather Burt somehow manages to sneak a hamburger and French fries past the on call nurses.

"Hospital food is the worst. You can get better meals from a dumpster."

It's the end of my second week here, sitting in this bed. I've been trying to get updates on the girl in the blue car. She needs to be okay. Just then Cindy, my day nurse comes waltzing in with a tray of small cups. She's probably my best chance.

"Hey Finn how are the ribs today? Still bothering you."

"They're better. I can lay down now."

"That's great! Any progress is good progress."

"Hey…ah…Cindy, can I ask you a question?"

"Oh course, what's on your mind?"

"What do you know about the girl whose car I hit? I just want to make sure she's okay."

I can see her hesitating.

"As far as I know, she's still in a coma. I overheard one of the nurses saying she had some bleeding in her brain. That damage is what's keeping her asleep. But the doctors here are really good. So don't worry okay."

I give her a small nod. My worry increases.

Three days later I'm released. My ribs are all but healed and my head was given the all clear. Mom insists on staying a few more nights at my apartment, she'll never stop being concerned.

When she finally relents and goes home, I decide I'm good enough to travel.

It always feels odd walking into a hospital, when there's no real personal reason to be there. I just need to make sure she's going to live. Cindy is coming towards me, she skips the pleasantries seeming to already know my question.

"She's in room 205."

Nodding my thanks I search for the room.

The door to 205 is slightly ominous, the fate of my conscious sleeps behind it. There's a young girl, blonde hair, lying silently, stiffly on the bed. A nurse with a clip board is writing down vitals, she looks at me questionably.

"Are you family?"

"Um no mam."

"Wait you look familiar. Were you released a couple days ago?"

I've been caught.

"Yes, I was. Car accident."

"Oh, wait, were you?"

I'm praying my eyes speak for me.

She nods in understanding.

"So is she going to be okay?"

"We really won't know the extent of the damage until she wakes up. Sarah here is a fighter though."

"Her name is Sarah?"

"Yes, pretty name. It's a shame about her daughter though."

Horror rushes through my veins.

"Was, she in the car too?"

"Oh no dear, she was with a baby sitter at the time."

"Where is she now? Her daughter I mean."

"They had to turn her over to the state. Just until her mother wakes up."

"That's terrible."

"Poor thing has no other family listed. It was her and her daughter. So sad really."

"What happens if she never wakes up?"

"The state will have to decide that. Most orphaned children end up in foster care. Unless a family member or someone close to Sarah offers to take the child in."

I knew how to fix this. It was huge, but I had to for Sarah.

"Who can I call?"

**A/N: So Finn's story has finally been revealed! What did you all think? How will Rachel react? And why exactly did she have to forget her dreams? Stay tuned! =)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: This is a short chapter, but I promise to get another one up tonight. I wasn't sure how I wanted this conversation to play out. But I'm pretty happy with it. We'll get more of Rachel soon, I just have a few kinks I need to work out. Thanks for the reviews!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.**

"Why aren't you talking?"

Finn must be a saint. I don't see regret in his eyes, he knows he did the right thing. Of course it's more than the right thing, it's a selfless act.

His shoulders are straighter now, poised to argue whatever challenges I can muster. But who would challenge this? Probably someone with realistic outlooks on life. I've always been that person, the one who doubts their readiness for the next step. Young naïve high schooler me would slap today me for even considering such a thing. Back then I never questioned my place in the world.

The constant worry from Finn's eyes has become a bit unnerving, I should speak.

"So, she's not your daughter?"

I need to hear it one more time so the churning in my stomach will stop.

"No, she's not my daughter."

The spinning and tumbling ceases.

"And you're not a hooker?"

"What? A hooker? What are you talking about?"

"Nothing. Something Santana said. So is okay if I ask questions?"

"Ask away, I'm all ears."

I don't believe I will ever be surprised at his willingness to listen.

"How does the state just hand you a child?"

"It really wasn't that easy. First I had to get in touch with the social worker who had Madison. Miss Kelling. This large woman who wears purple sweaters and has like twelve grandchildren."

"She seems sweet."

"Completely, and she was pretty happy that someone wanted to claim Maddy. Even though I was only going to keep her indefinitely I had to sit through hours of paperwork, a drug test, and a court hearing."

"You had to go to court?!"

"Well, yeah, some judge had to hear me out. Was curious why a recent college graduate wanted to take in a child that he had no relation to."

"What did you tell the judge?"

He looks reflective, remembering the moment again as it's happening.

"I told the court that because I took her mother away, even if it wasn't exactly permanent, I couldn't let her suffer. Wait it out in some state owned building, scared. It just wouldn't sit well with my conscious. So somehow they let me have her."

Wow, a saint and good with words. What I didn't understand was-

"Why are you in Lima then? Instead of Cincinnati?"

"My mother lives here in Lima, it was easier to move where help was. She's been helping me get settled into the apartment and with Maddy. I can tell this is hurting her though, given that Maddy is not really ours to keep."

"Has there been a change?"

He knows what I'm asking.

"The doctors said she's fully recovered, they're just waiting for her to wake up."

"How is Madison doing?"

"She cries at night, screaming 90% of the time. There's this look in her eyes that says, "Why did you take me away?" Thank God for Marley though. Turns out she lives in the apartment down the hall with her mother, who makes the best apple pies, she watches Maddy for me. Says that just because I'm taking care of a kid doesn't mean I can't have a social life."

"So she was the one who-"

"Was texting me the night we went bowling. Maddy was coughing up a storm that night and Marley couldn't get her to calm down. It wasn't until after I had given her a dose of cough medicine and a bath that she went to sleep."

"You seem to have a handle on this parenting thing. I wouldn't know the first thing about babies."

"Not at all actually. The first month I had her, I kept buying the wrong size diapers, and she had a lot of trouble eating. It was pretty brutal."

I've moved next to him now, my hand resting on his. I notice his shoulders are more relaxed.

"Hope she wakes up soon."

"Yeah, yeah, I do to. For Maddy's sake."

His voice words say yes, but his voice rings truer. Giving this child back is going to be a struggle. I just hope that he knows that.

Finn stayed for an hour. My thumb rubbing against his knuckles, as he told stories of Maddy. How she hates green beans but loves applesauce. And how she refuses to go to sleep until she has her favorite stuffed bear. He sounds much like a father loving his child. It breaks my heart.

He leaves then, saying he needs to relieve Marley of her babysitting duties, it is a school night after all. As I close the door my hand goes to my heart, that was a lot for one evening. Finding out the man you sort of kind of really like has a pseudo child kind of knocks you to the ground.

Santana had seemingly disappeared, no doubt hiding in her bedroom, ear pressed to the wall. She was never one to leave gossip alone.

"You can come out now Santana."

She comes meandering out from her bedroom, glass of wine in her hand.

"So what did Lurch have to say?"

"You should know, given that your ear was probably glued to the door. Don't try to deny it."

"Okay so maybe I was listening. I can't help that I need to know everything."

Heading to the kitchen I poor my own glass of wine, my only hope for any sleep tonight.

"I'm really worried about him. What happens when Madison's mother wakes up? He's attached to that little girl there's no he'll just give her back."

"He kind of as to though, doesn't he? She's not his child. The sooner he realizes that the better. Now how about we finish what we started. Streisand awaits!"

This is not going to end well.

There's a pounding. We don't have any crazy party neighbors and Santana knows I banned loud music after 11pm, so unless someone is banging on my skull it's probably the door.

Leaving the warmth of my covers, sleep mask sitting on my forehead, I sleepily head to the door.

Throwing the door open I see a dark shadow, someone tall. The figure comes into the moonlight, it's Finn.

"Finn, you do realize it's around 3am, and on my vacations I like to make up for the amount of sleep I've lost going to work every day."

It's only then that I notice his eyes, red rimmed and swollen. And in his arms is Madison, asleep on his shoulder.

"What's wrong? Is it Madison is she okay?"

He's still not answering. Only holding Maddy tighter.

"Is Sarah okay? Oh no, did she-?"

Maybe it's Finn's state of sadness or maybe just me, but I cannot find it in me to finish that sentence.

"No, um, Sarah, she's…"

"She's what Finn?"

I bring my hand to his cheek, hoping the gesture will calm him.

"Awake. Sarah woke up."

Madison wakes up staring up at Finn, her blue eye's catching the moonlight.

She knows it too.

**A/N 2: So Sarah is awake now. Let the drama commence. Stay tuned!**


	9. Chapter 9

**_Author's Note: Given some of the questions in the reviews, I thought this chapter was necessary. (Finn and Rachel are both 23, Sarah is 19 and little Maddy is a year.) I also felt there needed to be a little more explanation for Finn's attachment to Maddy. Another flashback! Hope you enjoy! Possibly another chapter tonight. New Glee episode! =) _**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Glee._**

_2 Months Ago_

I was trying very hard not to let any doubt get to me. This was something I refused to let myself back down on. A poor little girl's mother was lying in a hospital bed and I had to do everything I could to take care of her. Make sure she was okay.

"Finn Hudson."

A large woman stood in the door way of the waiting room. Her fuzzy purple sweater clashed with her long plaid skirt, but her smile was inviting.

"Yes, that's me."

I shook her outstretched hand before following her into her office.

"My name is Nancy Kelling and how are you today?"

"Not too bad, a little nervous."

My leg shook in anticipation, I could feel my palms start to sweat."

"That's to be expected, of course, but let me ask you. Are you sure you want to do this? I know you're young, 23, just out of college, are you prepared to take care of a child?"

That was a lot of questions at once. But if I wanted to follow through with this I needed to be confident.

"Yes, mam, I'm positive. As for taking care of her, I'm planning on moving to the small town my mother lives in, Lima, Oh. I also have a job lined up that is willing to be flexible. I know this will be hard, but I have to do it."

Her eyes conveyed: "Oh honey what have you got yourself into?" But then she sighed.

"Now, this is not going to be easy. Messy paperwork must be filled out and you will have to attend a hearing. But I think with the right preparation you will be a perfect candidate for young Madison Jennings."

"Okay where do we start?"

Passing the background check and drug test was the easy part. I knew I wasn't a criminal and drugs never intrigued me. It was having to talk in front of a judge in a courtroom that had me biting my nails. Speaking had never been my strong suit, I fumbled over words, never conveying what I was trying to say. Miss Kelling assured me that I would be fine, that I had this.

"You're young, confident, and you have a clean record. The judge will most certainly not deny you."

"I hope you're right."

The courtroom itself was small, white walls lined with pictures of former judges. It reminded me of those courtrooms you see during those pet police shows on Animal Planet.

I sat at a table with Miss Kelling, there was no one to argue against me, which was calming. Turns out most cases like this only require a judge. And given that Sarah had no family, it helped my case.

"All rise for the honorable Judge Davis."

A balding man with a stern and possibly bored expression came walking up to his seat at the front of the courtroom.

"Shall we begin? Okay, today we are discussing the case involving the custody Madison Jennings. Her mother Sarah Jennings, 19, was involved in a car accident on July 17 and is currently in a coma. Mr. Finn Hudson has asked the court to allow him brief custody of Madison until her mother should awake. Is that correct?"

"Yes that is correct. Mr. Hudson came to me on his own accord in what I believe to be out of the goodness of his heart."

Judge David nodded and then turned to me.

"Mr. Hudson, it appears everything is in order. You have a clean record, seem like a good man, and have thought this through. My only question is, why?"

This was my moment. My mother always says to speak from your heart. Here goes.

"As you probably know, I'm the one that hit Miss Jennings's car. When I heard about her daughter I couldn't just let her sit in some state run home. Sure she's only one and I may not know Sarah, but I know that if I was her I would want my child somewhere happy. Not surrounded by a bunch of strangers. I have to do something."

He looked thoughtful and I was pretty positive I would get denied.

"After going over everything I've decided to grant temporary custody of Madison Jennings to Mr. Finn Hudson, so long as she provides a stable environment. This will continue until the mother Miss Sarah Jennings is in good health and at that time Madison will again be in the custody of her mother. Court dismissed."

I'd won. It didn't matter that I was scared out of my mind or that really was completely unprepared, all that mattered was I had Madison.

Leaving the court room doors a woman came and handed Madison to Miss Kelling. She was adorable and looked just like Sarah.

"Now Madison, this is Finn and he is going to take care of you for a while, until your mommy is better. Is it okay if I hand you to Finn?"

Arms stretched out I took her, she smelled like baby powder and her skin was soft. This could work. Then she started crying.

My mom graciously drove Madison and I to Lima. She bonded with her the entire way, making her giggle. I'd wished for a moment that this little girl was really ours. But she wasn't she was someone else's, I couldn't' become attached.

The first time I tried to feed her she spit the carrots back at me and cried for an hour. The second time I changed her diaper I put way too much baby powder on had no choice but to give her a bath. The third time I gave her a bath I somehow ended up in the tub covered in Johnson and Johnson bubble bath and soaked from head to toe.

It was a learning process Madison and I. Putting her to sleep at night was the worst of it all. We'd sit on the couch, her on my chest, covered by this punk ducky blanket, but just as I would slowly get up and set her in her crib, the crying would start. I would try bottles, rocking her back and forth, I even attempted driving around in the car. She would only fall asleep after wearing herself out.

When I found out Marley lived down the hall I was ecstatic. She had been babysitting for years and was a pro at putting Maddy down at night. I paid her ten dollars an hour and let her have free range of my kitchen. Mrs. Helms two doors down was always willing take Maddy at the drop of a hat. Which was great on the days when Marley had class.

I'd had Maddy for about a month when I met Rachel. I was late to work my first day, having dealt with a screaming one year old since about five that morning. When I saw Rachel for the first time, I couldn't blink, or talk. Which is why I stuttered a lame excuse about my tires and rain. She was breath taking.

That night at the video store I had left Maddy with Marley, who had suggested I go out and rent a movie. I did not plan on running in to Rachel. When she had invited me over I couldn't say no. I'd never tell her, but we both fell asleep. I hated leaving her there, but I had responsibilities. Rachel could not be in the picture.

So I ignored her for two weeks after that. Unsure of what to say, and still dealing with the state of Ohio over Maddy. Just because you win does not mean they ever leave you alone. Miss Kelling would come once a week just to check up.

Bowling with Rachel was freeing. I felt like my age again, on a date with a beautiful girl (except it wasn't a date, I think we'd decided we were friends), nothing but the night ahead. But then Marley text me and I was back to being Finn Hudson, pseudo parent.

When I got home that night I sensed a change in Maddy. She was coughing, visibly upset, I couldn't get her to calm down. Two spoonfuls of this nasty smelling cough medicine and a warm bath (water all over the bathroom) and she fell asleep. When I tried to put her in her crib, her arms became latched around my neck. She slept next to me that night. And in the morning when the sun rose, sending orange light through the window, I found her hands on my face, smiling. I was smitten.

Rarely did I take Maddy out in public. It wasn't that I was ashamed of her, it's just very few people in Lima knew about her. But Maddy had been so good that day, eaten her carrots and kept them down, so I figured why not. Bumping into Rachel was an accident, just like everything else monumental in my life.

Explaining why I had Maddy to Rachel was shockingly easy, once I started. She was understanding, confused maybe, but understanding none the less.

Maddy wouldn't sleep that night. She was ansy, excited, toddling about the living room with block in her mouth. I should have known change was coming.

It was around 2:45am when I got the phone call and 3:00 when I knocked on Rachel's door, Maddy asleep in my arms. I hadn't even noticed I was crying. Until I tried to speak. Maddy moved in my arms staring up at me. I found my voice.

And my world imploded.

**A/N 2: So now we know how Finn got custody of Maddy. Next we meet Sarah! And reveal Rachel's past. Stay tuned!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note: Here is the next chapter! I feel like I'm getting back in my groove with this one. It's a pivotal chapter. Hope you enjoy and thank you for all the favorites, follows, and reviews! =)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. **

Finn was in no state to drive the few hours to the hospital, so for the first time in my life I had to learn stick on the fly. It was a nice distraction from everything else.

Hospitals reminded me of everything sad in this world. They're so clean you can smell it on the walls and on the nurses that walk by. Most people come here to die. My last breath will be not be here. I've seen too much to ever want to live out my existence in a white room. I wish I could go back to the parking garage, sit in Finn's truck and feel like me again. Breathe the fertilized infused air of Lima. But then again, we aren't in Lima. I'd never been to Cincinnati. Other than visiting family in Columbus, my life had been spent in Lima. I would never tell a soul about the one trip I had outside of Lima, that's between myself, my parents, and God. Some memories you don't share.

Sitting in the waiting room made me anxious, I do not know Sarah nor do I know Maddy. There's really no reason for me to be here. But I care enough about Finn to understand that he needs someone outside. Someone who doesn't know Maddy and can hold him while he cries. I may not know what it's like to lose a child but I do know what losing someone feels like. That I can offer.

I couldn't help my curiosity, maybe it was Santana prodding me or it could just be the humanness of it all, but I had to listen in. Peeking through the small space between the blinds (this hospital had those windows you find on medical shows) I saw only Finn's tense back and slumped shoulders. It was only when he stepped to the side that I saw her. Sarah was the spitting image of an older Maddy. Even from the window her blue eyes stood out, dancing in the catching light. She was beautiful, her skin and smile like that of a princess awakened from sleep. Almost ethereal.

Pressing my ear to the door, the conversation came clearly.

"So you just took her in? Without knowing anything about me?"

Her voice was a carbon copy of her looks.

"I didn't need to know you. This was about a mistake that I made. Letting Maddy stay in the custody of the state just didn't feel right."

"Accidently hitting my car should not equal taking my daughter. I should be angry, horrified, ready to sue someone, but for some reason I can sense this was out of your own kindness. And for that I say thank you."

"Miss Kelling, the social worker, told me you didn't have any family. I never asked how or why. I figured if they did exist, you must have had a reason for cutting contact. And when the judge gave me temporary custody I assumed you really didn't have anybody. I just wanted Maddy to have somebody."

"My parents died when I was sixteen. Or that's what the social worker told me. I was sent to live with a distant Aunt. Her name was Gilda and she smoked these really expensive cigarettes. Everything in her tiny house smelled like those. Sometimes I still smell them on my skin. She kicked me out when I was eighteen. Told me I was too expensive to keep and I was an adult now. I never got to finish high school. For a while I lived in shelters, ate those sloppy meals at rescue missions and took the free food by the back pack. Then I met Robbie. He carried a guitar with lyrics etched in and had the softest hair. We lived together in his old VW bus. He would sing songs he said he wrote just for me, while I smiled giddily. But then I got pregnant. He found me buying a test at a Kwik Shop. Said that he was "too rock and roll" for a kid and if I didn't have an abortion, he'd leave me. There was no way I could just erase my baby, so I swung my back pack over my shoulder and left."

"I'm not sure what to say. Other than, I'm sorry."

"That's enough, thank you."

"So, where are you living now."

"Well, after having Maddy. I stayed at this women's shelter. But it was a nice one, they had real beds and access to medical care. We both stayed there until I managed to get a job and a local bar. Saved up enough to get us an apartment. Of course I may not have that anymore, a coma and all. Not that I blame you. It was an accident after all."

From outside the door I swear I could hear Finn running over options in his mind.

"I can help you."

"What?"

"You know, get you a decent place to live, a job, find Maddy a babysitter."

"You don't have to do that, you've done enough."

"No, I haven't."

My feet led me back to the plastic waiting room chair. I didn't want to hear the rest of the conversation. Finn had a plan, one that might change everything.

Finn came out fifteen minutes later. I pretended to ignore his presence, devoting my attention to another round of Scrabble on my phone.

"Thank you for coming. I know I haven't said it yet, so thank you."

"You would have been just fine without me."

Of course I knew better than to believe that.

"Are you kidding? Just you being here, knowing you were waiting, calmed me. I'm pretty sure without you I would have fumbled over my words when meeting Sarah."

"From what I could hear, you did just fine."

He was quite then.

"I'm pretty beat and Maddy is staying with Sarah tonight. Because it's late and I don't want either of us to drive, how about we grab a hotel room?"

Finn Hudson and I alone, together, in a hotel room.

"Actually yeah, that sounds perfect."

One bed. I always believed the movies lied about the one bed.

"I could sleep on the floor. I'm sure housekeeping could bring up extra blankets. Or maybe one of those cots?"

"Finn no, you'll sleep in the bed. It's cold outside which means it will likely be cold on the floor. And really, I don't want you to catch any of the numerous diseases that I'm positive keep growing on this carpet."

"Only if you're sure."

"Positive. We're friends, this should not be awkward, no it should be comfortable. Like Joey and Dawson. Now go brush your teeth (bless the front desk). We've both had a long day."

Ten minutes later the lights were out, our backs turned to each other, the cold night air creeping through the cracks in the window.

"Goodnight Finn."

"Goodnight Rachel."

My head snuggled deeper into my pillow, forcing myself to become unaware of Finn lying next to me.

"Hey Rachel."

"Yes, Finn."

"Just so you know, I always thought we were more like Joey and Pacey."

"How so?"

"They made sense."

The tugging is becoming unbearable.

"Hey Rachel?"

"Yes, Finn?"

"I might have to leave soon."

"I know."

I fall asleep, dreaming of a painted wall saying, "Ask me to stay."

**A/N 2: I loved that ending. The Dawson's Creek reference came out of the nowhere. So now, we might have a goodbye, but will it be permanent? Also promise to have Rachel's story next! Stay tuned! **


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note: This chapter came to me out of nowhere. But I felt that this was necessary and let me assure you, you will find out more. I would also like to mention that I know nothing about Jewish services, I'm Catholic so I kind of just made this up. Enjoy! It's a sad one. Thanks for the favorites, follows, and reviews!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. Or the quote at the end.**

_5 years ago_

The muffled sounds of somber whispers echoed off the walls of the Synagogue. They raced down every pew, a ripple effect, like a wave at a football game. Sunlight broke through the stain glass windows, touching the shoulders of those with heads hung down in prayer, a gesture of comfort.

A program made of thick cream colored paper rested in my hands, a face centered, staring up at me, smiling. My fingers brushed over the pearly white teeth, wishing for that smile to vanish. Because than maybe, none of this would be real and I could go back to living again.

"Hello Rachel, how are you doing?"

It's the standard for an event like this. My job is to act politely as possible, show my gratitude for the kindness that's been bestowed upon me.

"I'm fine, Aunt Julie, hanging in there best I can."

She wants to say more. Possibly hug me, whisper how sorry she is in my ear. Instead she smiles and leaves the pew.

Family sits up front. Something about showing respect to those who experienced the loss. If I had my choosing, I would sit alone, up in the space designated for the choir. Watch from up high, glad I can be alone with my grief. Pretend for a moment that this does not involve me and I'm nothing but a curious spectator.

Amazing Grace begins. I won't stand. The longer I sit the less I have to see. It's much easier to stare at the bodies lingering above me, a sea of black.

Everyone sits again. I close my eyes.

* * *

Green fields of lavender and dandelions spread out before me, an image of a Monet. The outdoors is welcoming, there are no walls, or echoes. I can escape much quicker. For now, I'm in the front again, seated in a black picnic chair, twisting a lily between my fingers. My eyes are trained anywhere buy directly in front of me. I know that if I look, I'll lose it completely. Glancing, I stop on a tall woman. Hidden among the friends of the family. Her dark hair lies at her shoulders, purse clutched in her hands. Our eyes meet, a lone tear drops silently down her cheek. She looks at me like she knows me. Eyes caring, understanding, and regretful.

Suddenly I'm nudged forward. Lilies are dropped into the resting place.

When all is over, I don't linger. Fall on my knees and beg God to bring them back. Instead I sit in the field, shoes off, breathing in the spring air. But only for a moment.

My shoes dangle on two fingers, swinging back and forth as I walk. I'd said my polite goodbyes to those who came. The dark haired woman never came. She had disappeared, like one of those characters in a story from a passed life. Only came to say goodbye. Probably no one important.

I chose to walk, barefoot along the warm sidewalks. Opening the front door I was met with silence. What I expected to happen, didn't. This was real. I was alive, standing in an empty house alone with nothing but things. Coffee tables, bookshelves, a piano in the corner. They were gone. But everything about them lingered in things they left.

My legs took me to the piano. The bench was cold, but familiar. The tips of my fingers brushed over the keys. Sitting on the piano was sheet music. Picking it up I read the title. A wave hit me, faster and more suddenly then the whispers today. I dropped it. "Don't Rain on My Parade" landed softly on the floor. Dreams vanished like the souls I missed. The sunlight provided no comfort.

* * *

The piano and photos went into storage, everything else was sent to goodwill and those designated in the will. I sold the house quickly. There was no need to keep it. I didn't want the memories any way.

I'd taken up residence in a Best Western. Searching through newspaper ads for an apartment. A local retail store, Kaine's had already hired me and I started on Monday.

After hours picking through the Craig's List like offers I saw a familiar number. They were looking for a roommate in a small house in a decent part of Lima. Rent was cheap at $250 a month. I dialed swiftly.

"Santana speaking. If this is about the roommate thing keep talking, if Noah Puckerman, please hang up and try again."

"Santana Lopez? This is Rachel Berry, we went to high school together. I'm inquiring about the roommate you are looking for."

"Really? Rachel Berry? Long time no talk? What are you still going in Lima? Last I heard you got some scholarship to a performance school in New York. "

"Listen it's a long story. So about my living situation?"

"Fine don't talk. You got a job?"

"Yes, full time. And I'm an excellent cook. I also like to keep a tidy living space so I won't be messy."

"Okay, you're in. Moving in tomorrow I assume?"

"You bet. And thank you, I've been living in a hotel."

"I want to ask questions, I'm assuming it's not my place. So see you tomorrow?"

"Yes, bye Santana."

I had a place to live, in what was now my permanent home of Lima, OH.

* * *

I moved me and my tiny pink suitcase the following day, as promised.

"Hey Berry, lookin good. That all you have?"

"Yes, just me and my suitcase."

She didn't ask questions, surprising for the Santana I remember.

"Your room is the second door on the right. And you also have your own bathroom."

The room was a decent size, the walls white, a perfect canvass for something different.

We hit goodwill that day, buying a bed, and a few other necessary items. When the sun begin to set Santana suggested we celebrate.

"Two shots of Tequila coming right up."

"How on earth did you acquire all this alcohol?"

"I have my ways, of which you'll learn. Cheers."

"Here's to new dreams."

The tequila burned my throat.

"Pour me another one."

Santana obliged.

"Rachel Berry I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship."

**A/N 2: So what did you think? There will be more coming up. Like what happened to Rachel's dads? We know they died, but how? And what about Finn, will he really move to Cincinnati?**


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note: Here is the next chapter! This may seem slightly out of place, but I wrote the last chapter as a teaser of sorts. Now you get the whole story. It's a really sad one. Probably more so than the last one. So prepare yourselves. Thank you again for the favorites, follows and reviews!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. **

The morning after offered no revelations of love or understandings in a goodbye, instead it was surrounded by the quietness of friendship. The kind that exists when two people sit in the warmth of the sun, comfortable in nothing but each others presence. Sometimes those moments when the truth is set free, those are for later, when life calls for it.

Our leaving the hotel took no time, we had the clothes on our backs, nothing that would say we had been there. The blue toothbrushes sat on the sink, side by side, the only sign of occupants. It was raining that morning, although one might say it was more of a drizzle, light and clean.

Finn turned the heat on as we drove. CCR providing the soundtrack on the short journey. Silence still settled itself as we walked into the hospital. I sat again in the blue plastic chair, sipping a cup of the hotel coffee I had brought with me. Finn stepped through the door, greeting the little blonde girl and her mother. They almost looked like a family, if not for Finn's dark hair. The image shook me, and I clutched my coffee a bit more.

The door opened long after the cup had been discarded and I had started to doze off. Finn had Maddy latched to his chest, clam and asleep.

"We're going back to Lima."

"Wait, what about Sarah? Is she going to be alright?"

"The doctors want her to stay for observation for the next two weeks and she thought it would be better if I took Maddy back with me."

"Oh ok, I'm glad she'll be alright. Does that mean…?"

"We'll talk later. Right now, I just want to get home. Not much sleep last night, hotel beds are the worst."

Driving back to Lima was again filled with silence. Glances traveled back and forth and Maddy slept on. The drizzle had turned to rain pelting the windshield, wipers flying right than left, unable to keep up with the waves of water. I hate the rain.

The truck came to its clinkity stop in front of the house.

I breathed a sigh of relief, maybe from defeating the weather and making it home, or because I had somehow avoided the inevitable conversation with Finn.

My hand was ready to push the door open and climb into my bed. When I heard his voice through the rain.

"Rachel! Wait!"

"Finn you'll be soaked! It's freezing!"

"I know, I know, I could catch some horrible disease that comes from being in the cold. Just listen though."

My head nodded in anticipation, I wasn't sure what was coming.

"Thank you. You have no idea how much I mean that. Without you, I'm pretty positive I would have lost all my composure. So thank you, again, you know for being you. I know we still have to have that conversation that no one wants to have, but I'm soaked, and Maddy is sitting in the truck. So I'll talk to you later, alright?"

"You're welcome Finn and don't worry, get back to Maddy."

Suddenly his arms were around me, holding my body tightly to his chest. He smelled like rain and something uniquely Finn. When he removed his arms I was cold. The warmth gone.

His eyes the conveyed the need to say more. before he turned around feet sloshing in the puddles.

I went straight to my bedroom. Thankful Santana was already at work.

The rain didn't stop until morning.

* * *

_5 Years Ago_

I was home alone, my father's had gone to dinner, a yearly anniversary tradition. A steakhouse that served the best red wine in Lima. Papers were scattered around my bed, housing applications, financial aid instructions, and a course catalogue. I was instructed to take Intro to Singing. Ludicrous. I Rachel Berry was an outstanding singer, gifted some would say, there was no real need for me to take an Intro to anything class.

Just as I was considering the letter I could write to the dean, a large clap of thunder rattled the house. An uneasiness settled itself in my stomach and in my bones. Something was wrong.

I busied myself with the information in from of my again, going over all the extracurricular activities the school offered. Freshman were not allowed lead roles in the Fall and Spring musicals, I was certainly going to change that. They had to allow me to audition, I was not a background singer.

My room itself was a prime example of my future stardom. Posters from all my favorites musicals hung framed on the bright pink walls, and the shelves along my far wall held all my trophies and accolades. I never settled for anything below first place.

The thunder continued to shake the house, rattling the windows. I decided to light a few candles just in case the power went out.

When I had settled myself on my bed the phone rang.

Shakily I picked it up.

"Hello."

"Hello my name is Debra Armstrong and I'm conducting a survey on the households in Lima who subscribe to cable. Are you aware that the media has done nothing but present to children idea's that are unethical and may harm them? This includes, violence, having parents of the same sex-"

"Wait just a second MAM, I have two gay father's who I love very much. And by the way, we are very happy with our cable service! Good day!"

Despite the complete idiocy of the woman, I could relax now. Studying the course options once more the phone rang for a second time. Probably that woman again.

"If you think I am going to listen to your nonsense, you have another thing coming-"

"Is this Rachel Berry? It's very urgent."

"I'm sorry, this is she."

"This is Sherry calling from Lima Medical, your father's have been involved in a car accident. Your number was the only one listen under Emergency Contacts. I suggest you come quickly."

Oh God no.

"Are my father's okay? What happened?"

"Miss Berry, I cannot divulge their medical information over the phone. Come as soon as possible. And please drive safely."

It took me ten minutes to reach the hospital. They had to be alive.

"Are you Rachel Berry?"

"Yes, yes, that's me. Are my father's alright?! Please let them be okay, they're all I have."

"Honey calm down. Sit down right over here and I will go find the doctor."

She sat me in a blue plastic chair, my head in my hands.

"Miss Berry? I'm Dr. Hammil."

"How are they?"

"Your father Leroy is just getting bandaged up right now, he had a slight concussion and a broken arm, but he will be just fine. Your other father though, Hiram, the truck that hit your parents hit his side, he suffered internal bleeding, a collapsed lung and both legs are broken."

"But he'll be fine right? You'll just keep him here for a while and he'll get better right?"

"Most of the internal bleeding resides in his brain. Unfortunately, we couldn't stop it, I suggest you say your goodbyes. I'm so sorry, but we do not expect him to make it through the night."

This was a nightmare. Probably from one too many episodes of Grey's Anatomy. I will wake up and everything will be fine. Papa will have leftovers in the fridge for me and Daddy will be singing as he walks in. And they'll both be there to kiss me goodnight. No I refuse to believe this is real.

"Can I see them now."

"Yes or course follow me."

We walk down a corridor, filled with panicked family members leaning against walls, and nurses shuffling carts back and forth.

Dr. Hammil stops in front of a darkened room. I nod my thanks and step in.

There in bed, hooked up to hundreds of wires and tubes, is my Daddy. Both of his legs are casted, and he's terribly pale.

I collapse into the chair next to the bed, carefully grasping his hand. Willing him to wake up.

"Daddy, please. Please. You have to wake up. Please. You promised you would be there for my opening night of my first Broadway show. Remember? When I was seven, you promised, we pinky swore. You promised!"

The tears release themselves then and I cry into his arm.

"Sweetheart I am so sorry."

"Papa! What happened?"

"We were coming back from dinner, your Daddy was singing Gene Kelly like he always does when it rains. The truck came out of nowhere. It was a stop light and the truck driver couldn't see. And then I woke up here."

"Daddy will be okay though right? He can't leave us."

"Star, I'm not sure-"

"Papa, wake up! Someone help!"

Dr. Hammil and few others came holding paddles.

"One, Two Three. Jump!"

I collapsed onto the ground, praying for them to save him.

"Come on we can't lose him!"

They tried again.

And again.

Dr. Hammil looked at his watch.

"Time of death 8:45pm."

"No. No no no no no. Papa! Keep trying!"

One of the nurses held me back, soothing me as I sobbed.

I watched as he was taken away.

Then the beeping behind me stopped.

**A/N 2: There you have it. I hope the two parts connected well. The angst is soon over, I promise. Stay tuned!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Authors Note: Another chapter! I'm not completely happy with it, but it moves the story along. No more flashbacks. There should be at least one or two more chapters left before this story is over! Probably no epilogue, as I'm not a fan. Thank you for all the favorites, follows and reviews! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.**

Finn and I never had that conversation. He left within the week, gone like he had not appeared in the first place. Our time together, our friendship, had reached its pivotal moment. We were two mountain climbers, sitting at the peak, trying to breath thin air, before it became too much and we were forced to make our decent. Everything has an end. And so my life went on.

It was the week after Black Friday, shoppers crowded the aisles, clothes were thrown over racks and piled up in the fitting rooms, and customer's continued to complain.

"Why is your store so messy?"

Customer Service Answer: "We've had a lot of shoppers today and it's also the holiday season, which means we as a store get shopped hard. I apologize for the mess, if you need any assistance let me or another associate know."

Honest Answer: "It's messy because shoppers like you think you're privileged, so you go around knocking things off without bothering to pick them up, deciding that it's not your job. Then you go willy nilly into the fitting rooms, leaving the fourteen carts worth of clothes you tried on all over the floor, inside out, and in giant piles. Oh and my favorite thing. You complain about it like it's our fault! Well guess what lady?! I could care less, you want a clean store?! You pick all this up, because it was your mess in the first place! Good Day!"

This is what was screaming through my head, hour by hour, my patience wearing thin. The holiday season consisted of morning huddles before store opening, where Mr. Shuester had to repeatedly remind us to not enact violence on our customer's and to remember to say "Happy Holiday's" because it was more politically correct (I would just like to make a note that our store is decorated for CHRISTMAS). But that never stopped the occasional slip ups of "Merry Christmas!" or rolling our eyes in utter distaste.

" Mam that coupon is not valid until the week before Christmas, so no I cannot honor it today."

"Then why did you give it me if I can't use it?"

"If you look at the dates here, you can use it then. By that time it will be in our system and will be accepted."

"This is ridiculous, I want to use this today!"

"I'm sorry but like I said, it's not valid yet."

"Well, fine. I am never shopping here again!"

It was a useless threat, they always come back. If anything as rude as our customers can be, they are loyal. Always here, always spending money. And yet, always complaining.

Checking the clock I let out a sigh of relief, my day was over. I could at least for fifteen hours or so, separate myself from this place and relax.

I reached my car in record time, our parking lot as full as ever. The winter temperatures had peeked their way into the fall so I switched the heater on. I may have hated the holiday season, but the winter, now that I loved. My most treasured memories revolve around winter.

When I reached the house, Santana's car was already in the driveway. It was quite unusual for her to be home this early, usually working late into the evening. I stepped into the house only to be greeted by my roommate sitting, legs crossed, arms folded on the couch.

"Why are you home so early, I thought you worked late."

"Not tonight, I got another girl to cover my shift, there are more important matters."

"Like what exactly?"

"I've decided to stage a Rachel Intervention."

"A Rachel Intervention?"

"It's a working title. Not copyrighted or anything."

"Okay…where are you going with this?"

"You have been nothing but mopy ever since Lurch left. Your hair needs some serious help, your clothes are worse than usual, and I can hear you watching Funny Girl every night. It's depressing."

" My hair looks fine, and I just haven't done laundry yet this week, also Funny Girl is my favorite film."

"Oh please, I can hear you crying every night, don't deny it. Look, I'm just worried about you, okay? I don't know that details on what happened, but I do know when something messes you up. And this my friend, has turned you into a pile of dirty laundry."

"Well, than what do you suppose I do? I can't just call Finn, because if you recall, he just left! No goodbyes, nothing! And I have been trying my hardest to move on, because we never really had anything other than friendship in the first place. But I can't Santana, I just can't."

"Okay, stop crying, here's what we're gonna do. You go put those stupid cat pj's on you love so much, I'll grab two bottles of wine, and then we'll just sit here and watch whatever crap we can find on tv. You don't have to talk unless you want to. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Good, now go."

I smiled slightly at Santana through my blurred eyes, heading to my bedroom, grateful I have her to get me out of this funk. Or that's what I'm going to start calling it. Because having your heart sort of kind of broken should be considered a funk right? Throwing my work clothes off and pajama's on, I'm ready for a night of fully immersing myself in my sorrows and then letting Finn go. He's not coming back, there's another person (or persons) who needs him. I was just his friend who helped him through a situation, that's all.

"Hey Rachel, I've got a warm bottle of red wine with your name on it. Come and get it before I pop this sucker open."

Let Operation Let Finn Hudson Go commence.

"Coming Santana."

The bottle lay next to me. Empty, except for a slow drip coming from the small remains left at the bottom, creating a deep stain on the carpet. My head heavy, pounding. Somewhere in the distance the glow of 3:30am beamed at my eyes. Adjusting myself on the couch I could see Santana spread out on the carpet, her long hair covering her face, bottle latched under her arm. Pulling myself slowly off the cushions I stumbled my way to my room. Turning on my light I winced.

"God that was a bad idea, I thought only sunlight did that."

Collapsing onto my bed I buried myself underneath my pillows. Just as my hangover was sending me to sleep, I heard a distant beeping. Forcing myself to move around in the dark I found my phone lying underneath a pair of jeans. My eyes squinting in the light I saw a text.

-Please call me. I need to explain.-Finn

So much for letting go.

I never responded to Finn's text. Ignoring him is easier. Pretending he doesn't exist is easier. Like when you read a novel and you hated the ending, so you pretend it never happened. Life is better when everything you want goes right, and the bad things that happen to you just never happened.

So yes, I chose to erase Finn from my life and continue my usual routine. I had too.

_Month One-December_

Christmas shopping or watching Christmas shoppers wears me out. No one takes time to enjoy the act of buying gifts for people they love. It's a race they have to win and the prize at the end is this long receipt with some outstanding total. I hate people who shop months before, there's no reason to, the deals are probably going to be better around the holiday's anyway, and I can guarantee you will lose most of these items in the back of your closet.

I shop only during the month of December, we get this fantastic employ discount and as I said, the deals are better. Really, I only shop for Santana, but there's something about walking around window shopping and listening to Frank Sinatra play over the speakers.

It was the week before Christmas when I found the perfect give. A gleaming red drum set, sitting under a spotlight in the local music store. When the clerk asked me if I was interested I told him no, at first, before purchasing it. If anything I could learn to play.

Santana got me a record player, an old vinyl of Barbara Streisand's greatest hits and this perfume I had my eye on.

The first snowfall came just as the year changed. U2's New Year's Day playing in the speakers at Easy's a pint of cheap beer in my hand.

-Happy New Year-Finn

I didn't respond.

A month without Finn.

_Month Two-January_

This was our slow month. Hours are cut back and there are little customers. No one shops in January, they say Christmas left them bankrupt.

Tina had moved in with her boyfriend, who had snagged the perfect off campus apartment.

All of our college age employees left for another semester, it was a quite January at Kaine's.

The drum set was still sitting boxed and untouched, collecting dust in our tiny garage.

I didn't hear again from Finn.

As always, I would never admit I wanted to.

Two Months without Finn.

_Month Three-February_

I had a stalker. His name is Jacob, this short weasley looking kid from the truck team. He started around Christmas, always smiling creepily at me from behind his glasses and awful hair. I had been asked out numerous times by Jacob, my reply always polite.

"Hello Rachel, you look beautiful today."

"Thank you Jacob, that's very nice of you to say."

"So, wanna hit the arcade with me?"

"I'm sorry, the arcade? How old are you?"

"21."

"Exactly. I thought arcades were all but extinct, a long ago fad in the early 2000s."

"Come on we could race together. I would let you sit on my lap."

"Gross no! Honestly, how many times do I have to say no! Please I am not interested."

"Your loss sweetheart."

Jacob finally backed off after that. Well mostly. Sometimes I would find him staring at me from across the store, winking suggestively.

When Valentine's Day came, I wore pink to work, my only way to honor the "holiday." That night I went home, ate copious amounts of chocolate, and sat myself on the couch to watch the "Sweetheart Marathon" on television.

Three months without Finn.

_Month Three-March_

The winter weather had almost subsided, the green in the leaves fighting its way out from under the frost. Boots were still acceptable and the heat was still on. But Spring was slowly coming. The groundhog had not seen his shadow.

I had work early this morning, we had a sale going on, which meant early opening and late closing. Customers were standing outside the doors when I arrived. Kaine's customer's think every day is Black Friday. After shoving my way into the store(despite shouting, "I'm sorry can I get through I work here!") I huffed in annoyance. Today was going to be awful.

And awful it was. Most complained about the signs above merchandise, one lady wanted an item off every single mannequin in the store and then decided against it, and a man decided it would be okay to use the ladies room because it was cleaner. Needless to say, my day had been exhausting and all I wanted to do was go home, unwind, and sleep, a lot.

When I reached the house, it was empty. Santana had left a note on the fridge, "Working a double tonight. See you tomorrow. There are leftovers in the fridge." –Santana

I decided on a shower before delving into the fridge. As I was warming up the left over lasagna there was a knock at the door. Santana like to shop on the internet, so I assumed it was a UPS delivery man, with another pair of discounted heels.

"Hello, you can just hand me whatever my roommate has purchased, I'm sure you-"

"Hi Rachel."

The door slammed, shaking the house.

**A/N 2: So looks like someone might be back. ****Stay tuned. =)**


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note: Here's the second to last Chapter! I may get the last part up tonight, depending. Thank you for all the favorites, follows and reviews! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.**

I was only following standard protocol. When someone leaves without notice, on their own accord, without so much as a "See you later!" you ignore them. Silence does more to the human heart and mind than yelling curse words with the appropriate hand gestures. Yelling eventually ends, silence, well, sometimes it lasts forever.

Finn had continued to knock on my door, his persistence annoying. At point that night, I almost gave in, the temperature had surely dropped. But then the knocking stopped and I heard the clinking of his truck down the street. It was when I went to unlock the door for Santana (she was terrible at conveniently forgetting her house key) that I saw it. A small white envelope, "Rachel" scribbled across the front.

Settling myself on the couch I tore it open. Even if it was from Finn, I had to know what it said.

_Dear Rachel,_

_If you're reading this, that means you wouldn't talk to me face to face, lucky for you I had a Plan B. Just so you know, what you're about to read are not excuses, just the truth. So please continue. For me?_

_I'm sorry for not saying goodbye. Disappearing without any kind of notice was a shit thing to do. But honestly I had no idea what to say to you. When I had dropped you off at your house, saw you standing at your door, looking sad, I had to stop you. I had promised a conversation, and at the time I had a millions things to say to you, but no courage to actually say them. I'm not mad you ignored my text, it was only fair that you ignore me. Honestly, I'm not mad. But now like I said I really need you to listen (or read I guess?)._

_The day after dropping you off I requested a transfer, dropped out of my lease, and headed to Cincinnati. I wasn't sure how long I would be there, but I knew I needed to be, everything with Sarah wasn't right yet. Driving by myself gave me time to think about what I was doing. Here I was a twenty-three year old with a kid in the backseat with no relation to me, but I still felt obligated to take care off. That's when it hit me, I was doing this not out of remorse but instead I was going it because I decided I was obligated. And maybe I was, I did crash that car into an innocent person's vehicle, sending them into an unwarranted a coma. But it clearly was an accident, I realize that now. And did that also mean I had no other option but to take in a child? Did I regret taking in Maddy when she needed love the most? No of course not, she didn't deserve to be alone. So despite obligations or remorse or whatever compelled me to make this choice, I had made it._

_When they finally released Sarah from the hospital I helped her find an apartment. I had decided it would be easier to move in with both her and Maddy to help make the adjustment easier. For the first month Sarah could barely move around, still sore from being bed ridden for months, and the doctor had put her on some pretty strong meds, I could leave her alone, sick and all. I took care of her and Maddy, making sure Sarah did what she was supposed to do to get better and make sure Maddy was happy. In that first month, we got along fine, but we were strangers. I tried to make Christmas special for Maddy, I know being one and a half she probably won't remember, but you can't just not give a kid Christmas. _

_The second month the doctors cut down on the meds Sarah was taking she was even allowed a glass of wine for New Years. We all even sat on the couch that night, watching the ball drop. And when everyone in Times Square cheered and kissed each other, I thought of you and what you were doing, so I had to let you know. It's okay that you didn't respond, again I understand._

_February came and Sarah was almost back to being normal. We took Maddy to the zoo one Saturday, she got a stuffed elephant and named him Finn. I tried to persuade her otherwise, but my name was all she could pronounce. Valentine's Day came and I bought Sarah flowers, just because every girl deserves flowers (I owe you a ton). We sat around that night talking about our lives. Her story was just as sad as that nurse made it out to be, all alone with no family, just her and Maddy. But I could tell she was strong, like you. ( I know you don't show it but I can tell you're hiding some pain you don't want anyone to know about.) February was good._

_The fourth month, March, about a couple days ago actually, Sarah sat me down. Told me I needed to move on with my life. Her and Maddy were not my responsibility and she told me if I didn't leave she would force me out. It was hard saying goodbye to Maddy, she had been in my life for long enough that I really care for, but I had to remind myself (still doing it) that she wasn't mine to begin with. That made it easier to let her go. Sarah did say I could visit once in a while, but that might confuse Maddy, so for now it's goodbye for good. _

_Right now I'm staying at the local Best Western in Lima, my room number is 102. Please come by if you want to talk._

_Finn_

The pounding on the door vibrates down the hall, I'm sure the small amount of occupants are awaking. Probably preparing nasty remarks for the "Please leave comments" notepads on the bedside tables. But when something's important you make as much noise as deemed worthy. The door finally opens, he looks more awake than I believed he would be, almost like he was waiting for me.

"Rachel, you came."

"I had to, after reading your letter. Can I come in."

"Actually why don't we go outside, in case you yell at me or something."

He smirks at me.

"I promise I won't yell, but okay fresh air helps the mind think clearer anyway."

We headed outside then, through a set of side doors down the hall. The temperature had dropped, our breath freezing in mid air. Finn directed my towards a bench, overlooking one of the few scenic views in Lima. There was a questioning silence then, neither of us knew what to say, but I figured he gave me a letter, so it was my turn.

"My arms ached."

"Wh-wh-what?"

"When you left, after hugging me, my arms ached. I would wake up at night, rubbing my arms, wishing the constant ache to just disappear. They say when you love someone, when they're gone, your arms ache. Because holding someone, being that close to them, is the most personal, and safest feeling in the world. And maybe that's when I knew."

"Knew what?"

"That I loved you. I could really feel it then, understand that it was real. You know I thought I loved Jesse, but when Jesse was gone I didn't feel alone and my arms definitely didn't ache."

"You, you love me?"

"With every bit of my soul and everything that I am. Cliché yes, but I do, I love you."

"When your head fell on my shoulder."

"What do you mean?"

"That's when I knew that I was in love with you. When you invited me over that first day we met, you put your head on my shoulder and I fell, and haven't been able to get up since. I may not have really known it then, but now when I look back, I know it was then."

"You love me too?"

"I love you. So much."

And then we stood in front of each other, my body still shivering a bit from the cold, and our eye's found their soul mates. When he finally kissed me, I felt everything at once, and then I saw stars. Bright, beautiful, sparkling stars.

Something cold touched my cheek, we broke apart faces tilted to the sky. Snow began to fall, landing on my cheeks and on the shoulders of his woolen coat. And as we stared at the sky I swear I could see stars, like a summer sky in winter. I wasn't so cold any more.

"We should probably head inside, I can tell you're getting cold."

"I'm fine, plus I'm too happy to care."

"Well, while I can agree, I also cannot feel my toes, so why don't we head inside and get warm."

"Okay, if you insist. Why don't we lay down in that overpriced hotel bed of yours and watch one of those movies they offer."

"Whatever you want."

We headed inside then, the heat from the building hitting my frozen cheeks. Finn offered my an pair of his pajama pants (I had to tie the strings around twice) and one of his sweatshirts. After getting comfortable, we somehow forgot about a movie and ended up talking.

I told him about what happened to my dad's. Crying into his shoulder. He laughed when I told him stories of living with Santana (she had scarred me for life in more ways than one).

"Broadway."

"Huh?"

"That was my dream. Broadway. You know how I mentioned I was planning on attending a prestigious performance arts school? Well, it was in New York. I wanted to be the next Fanny Brice. Big voice and applause every night. My father's actually took me when I was seven. They got tickets to see Les Mierables. And I remember even at such a young age, staring up at the stage, knowing that's where my destiny was."

"You should do that, be on Broadway."

"But you've never heard me sing."

"Then sing for me. Anything."

"Okay how about one of my favorites."

_You say you want diamonds on a ring of gold  
You say you want your story to remain untold_

But all the promises we made  
From the cradle to the grave  
When all I want is you

"You have the most amazing voice I've ever heard."

"Thanks you don't have to be nice."

"I'm serious, you're fantastic and you need to be using your voice."

"I'll think about it okay."

"Thank you, and please seriously consider it."

" I will. What was your dream? Before everything. "

"My dream? I wanted to teach music, to kids who had nothing else. Music always inspired me, every day, and I wanted to give kid's that same outlook. I have my teaching degree, actually from Ohio State. But after I took in Maddy, I sold my drum set, the one I was using during my brief stint in New Directions was an old one of Sam's. It just didn't seem like the right time anymore."

"I may have a solution, put your shoe's on and come with me."

"Rachel, it's like 1am."

"I know but I'm excited now, so come on!"

"This better be good."

Ten minutes later

"Here it is!"

"What is it? Am I supposed to be excited about a box?"

"Lift it up silly."

He lifted the box, slowly revealing the gift I had found sitting in that music shop.

"You got me a drum set!?"

"Merry Christmas Finn."

"But, why?"

"I saw it in a window at this music shop and knew it had to be yours, I wasn't sure if you would ever see it, but I hoped you would."

"You know what this means right?"

"No, what?"

"Our dreams are still out there, calling us. I know it sounds lame, but everything is where it's supposed to be. You and me could take over the world."

And there Finn was pleading, with such excitement in his eyes, this was our moment.

**A/N 2: Reunited at last. I hope it wasn't too rushed. One more part left! Has Rachel found her inspiration again? Stay tuned! Song mentioned was "All I Want is You" by U2 (possibly my favorite song in the entire world). **


	15. Chapter 15

**_Author's Note: Well here it is. We've reached the end of this story. Thank you all so much for all the favorites, follows and reviews! Please take a look at my other stories! I've also got another idea in mind! Enjoy!_**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Glee._**

_When I met him I thought this was it. All my patience had paid off. Here he was, right in front of me, blue eyes searing me with a pleasant burning in my chest. I wanted to hold his hand, anything that would prove he was as real as my heart made him out to be. My entire being wanted him so badly and now here he was months later, standing here telling me what I'd waited 23 years to hear. I could sense his impatience, in the corners of his mouth and the way he bounced on his heels. Everything seemed to hinge on this one answer, change was going to happen and I wasn't sure if I could handle it. Rhythmic sounds of our breathing synched with the thumping of our heartbeats. He opened his mouth to speak. This was it._

I felt warmth on my face, brushing the side of my cheek. Cracking my eyes open I watched as the sky spread its colors out, standing out above the still darkened earth. My head rested on a familiar shoulder, a pleasant contrast to the cool morning air. The seat I was spread out on vibrated below me, the truck bounding down the nearly empty highway.

"Hey you're awake."

"The sun woke me up."

"I'll get him to apologize for rudely disturbing your sleep."

"There's no need, I love the sun rise, and also how do you know the sun's not a woman?"

"A woman would never purposely wake up another female. Too smart."

"You'd be surprised, I've had my fair share of "Come on Rachel get up"'s from Santana."

"How did she take it anyway?"

"Well, you know Santana. First she was pissed and then there was a lot of crying."

"_You're leaving me?! What is so important that you're backing out of your lease and leaving my high and dry with no roommate!?"_

"_M y dreams, Santana. I cannot spend the rest of my days sitting living out an existence in Lima working at a retail store. The world is my oyster!"_

"_You don't even like oysters."_

"_It's an expression. I know you're mad, but if I don't do this now, I'll regret it for the rest of my life, no matter cliché that sounds."_

"_So you just up and decided that your dreams were still there and the only way you could achieve them was to leave this sorry town?"_

"_Well, not exactly."_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_Actually, umm, Finn came back. Showed up at my door about four hours ago. At first I wouldn't talk to him, shoved the door in his face. But he'd left a letter. Explaining everything. So I went to him. We talked it out and through all the clichéd "I'm sorry"'s and "I love you"'s he convinced me that not everything is lost. There's always hope for more. And my dreams are a part of that. He's a part of that."_

"_Lurch came back?! Damn, who knew he had the balls. I guess I understand though. Don't get me wrong, I'm furious you're leaving me, but like you said, the world is your oyster."_

"_Thanks Santana, and I promise I'll mail you next month's rent. I would be a terrible friend if I didn't."_

"_You bet your sweet Berry ass you will. I'll miss you, you know that right? Who else is willing to share a bottle of wine with me? Just don't forget about me okay?"_

"_Of course not, you're my best friend you know."_

"_Don't tell anyone, but you're mine too."_

"I will miss her and maybe even Lima, a little. But life moves on, and as it does, so do I."

"So, how did Mr. Schuester take it when you quit?"

"I haven't actually called him, yet, with all the excitement. I'll call when the store opens, or maybe I'll make them sweat."

"I'm mostly impressed with how quickly you packed. Don't girls usually have at least a thousand suit cases? You just have your one."

"That's all I had when I moved in with Santana. Just me and my tiny pink suitcase."

We drove for another hour, listening to CCR and talking about what we'll do when got to our destination. A truck stop was in the distance, large semi's holding tired drivers as they headed out for another day of driving. There was an old diner, famous for their hash browns the sign said.

"Oh, my God. These are the best pancakes I've ever had. My mom made me breakfast every morning as a kid and hers were never this fluffly."

"You just haven't had mine yet. Santana says my chocolate chip pancakes are the best she's ever had."

"I'll believe it when I taste them."

Finishing up our breakfast, we hit the road again. Windows down, the late morning air rushing through our hair.

Lunch consisted of these little gas station sandwiches and grape slushies. Our lips and tongues were stained with purple, a bag of sour patch kids between us, we were children again.

I fell asleep again, a sugar induced slumber, about two hours after lunch, sleeping soundly against Finn's shoulder.

The dream came again. I was standing on a stage, the lights around me, singing to thousands of faces in the most perfect dress. Suddenly the audience disappeared except for one lone figure in a chair a couple of rows back. His hair was dark, he looked tall. Moving myself off the stage away from the blinding spotlight I saw the figure come towards me. Slowly he came into the light, his face illuminated. And for the first time I saw his eyes. They were the deepest amber, specks of gold catching the light above. He came to me, resting his hand on my cheek.

"My star."

Just as dream me was about to speak I heard a voice in the distance.

"Rachel, Rachel, wake up I can see it!"

Shaking my slumber away, I opened my eyes. In the road before us was a city skyline, surrounded by the sunset. It was everything I'd remembered.

"_Daddy I want to be a star."_

"_A star? A movie star perhaps?"_

"_No, I want to be on Broadway. Like Fanny Brice!"_

"_If that's what you want."_

"_Really, you think I can be a star? Just like her?"_

"_Doll, you'll be the brightest star anyone has ever seen."_

"So this is happening."

"Did you ever doubt it?"

" For a long time yes, but you, you reminded me. Thank you for that."

"Hey, we helped each other. We're finding our dreams."

"I love you, I hope you know that."

"I love you too."

He was quite for a moment starring out at the skyline as we blew past car after car.

"You know love is a lot like returns. Once you find that person, the return should be easy, hassle free, you know?"

"I love the things you say."

The bridge was long, sturdy over the river below, and then the buildings of the city surrounded us, the noises hit my ears through the wind and I swear I could hear music.

New York had been trying to ask for my love for a long time. And I couldn't listen through all the heartbreak. But it's like Finn said, love should be a Hassle Free Return. For any time, for any reason, no questions asked.

**A/N 2: Thank you again for being such awesome readers! Stay tuned for more! =)**


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